Journey to Becoming a Midwife

Quick update

2010-04-27T21:42:00.003-04:00

I've moved to WordPress . See you there!

Shoulders. Oh fuck.

2010-03-28T19:06:00.005-04:00

So I had my first days back in the hospital post-H1N1 on Friday & Saturday. But let me briefly recap the last couple weeks in bullets. Forgive me.

Caught 4 babies with my Manwife preceptor. One natural mama in hands-knees. Very difficult to do your appropriate perineal support & hand maneuvers upside down. But a definite learning experience. One pre-termer who didn't breathe & had to get intubated at BS. We were so busy this day. Literally ran nonstop all day long. Had 15 mins of down time to inhale some food.
Caught 2 babies with awesome Midwife H. One first thing in the morning. I love that.
Went home for the weekend. My flight got delayed for 5+ hrs. I rented a car for super cheap. Saw B. Saw my family. Caught the crud (later identified as H1N1.)

Alright, you are thusly brought back up to speed. Friday I was with Midwife A. We weren't super busy which seems to always happen with her. Most significantly, I had my first shoulder dystocia. Super scary. It wasn't a bad one...resolved in 60 seconds, but still something I haven't seen enough of to feel comfortable managing. Midwife A stepped in as soon as the baby's head started turtling; we did McRoberts, suprapubic pressure, and Midwife A delivered the posterior arm which gave enough room for the rest of the baby to be delivered. And she was a tiny thing (7ish...) to be causing so much commotion. It turned out well but scared the shit out of me. Lesson to be learned: a shoulder dystocia can happen to anyone at anytime with any size baby. Duly noted universe, I got the message. So we only had that one delivery.

Yesterday I was with Midwife Ratched. I think that I'm growing on her because she actually seemed okay with me rather than exceptionally annoyed at my mere presence. So I'm taking that as a good thing. We were rather busy yesterday. We had a lot of people coming through triage, including people actually in labor. Woo. I will admit I got super excited when vertex/vertex twins came in contracting. Sigh. Not in labor though. Better luck next time. I gave up one of my deliveries to the dad. He wanted to catch the baby. So he did. It was cute. We did two other deliveries and neither were particularly easy or straight-forward. One had FHTs down in the 80s-90s...making me super uncomfortable. Mom was just not moving baby as quickly as needed. Midwife Ratched had to step in w/the modified (aka not-in-your-butt) Ritgen. It worked...baby was OP and had a double nuchal. Ahhhh it's all so clear now. Second delivery was also not super easy...it all turned out okay in the end; but I was still terrified there would be shoulders. There wasn't...phew.

So lets do the math 11+2+1+2= 16

I am starting to feel comfortable in my clinical setting. Less awkward and more take-charge. I feel like the midwives collectively have been giving me more and more responsibility. Charting, writing H&Ps, progress notes, delivery notes, orders, etc. is a lot easier than it had been. I don't have to write drafts of my notes or stare at prenatal records blankly cos I don't know where any of the information is. I also feel like I'm starting to be on the same page as my preceptors. And actually knowing the answers to their question of: What do you think we should do with this pt? And having my answer match theirs. Using my clinical acumen to work through a vague CC of abdominal pain.

As far as my personal life goes, a lot has been happening. As my life is more and more midwifery, I feel less like my personal life belongs here in this blog. Maybe I'll feel comfortable sharing soon.

We interrupt your regularly scheduled blog...

2010-03-23T15:14:00.001-04:00

I have H1N1 despite getting vaccinated. Gr. I'm still trying to get better. I will be back in tip-top form in no time.

Making up for lost time

2010-03-09T21:06:00.001-05:00

I am hurting today. Caught 4 babies, thusly bringing my total to 11 births so far. Caught a baby who didn't breathe...scary. I'll write more later but I'm super tired. In the office tomorrow.

Day 2 of the baby drought

2010-03-06T17:40:00.002-05:00

I just got home from the hospital. Again...absolutely nothing going on. My only laboring pt was sectioned around noon (sigh.) No one else in labor. A couple of triage pts. Otherwise I spent my day practicing more hand ties, charting all of my pts, catching up with my clinical journal and watching Da V*nci Code in the on-call room. Midwife A wasn't feeling well, so she just curled up under a blanket and hung out. Better luck next time...

No babies today

2010-03-05T21:38:00.004-05:00

So today was decidedly quiet. Not a whole lot going on. No one in labor...only a few triage patients. And let me say that I love it when what a pt says is going on is nowhere near what's actually going on. For example, we had a near-term pt who was breech who said she felt a bulge in her vagina. We all were on high alert (is it a BBOW? SROM? Toes?) when we found out she was coming in. There was absolutely nothing in her vagina/labia/perineum so we sent her on her way. Imaginary perineal bulges? Restless perineal syndrome? After absolutely nothing going on, Midwife H lets me go home. No sooner than I'm 10 minutes from my house, MH calls me back and tells me a multip has just come in 5cms. I make the decision to head back but she calls back in 10 more minutes saying she's complete & pushing. So no babies for me! But...I did scrub a CS where our doc pulled out an ovary the size of a tangerine -- covered in cysts, including a dermoid cyst with (what felt like) a tooth inside of it. Pretty interesting.

B came in last night for the evening. She's flying out West for the weekend and just flew thru. I loved seeing her but was sad it was only for less than 8 hours. We didn't get much sleep -- late night and an early morning. This long distance business is no joke. But I really love being with her -- so it doesn't bother me. She'll be back again for a layover on Monday, then I'm flying down -- err up...to her for the weekend on Friday. Next week is Spring Break and I'm not "breaking" too much. I'll be in the hospital Tues & Thursday; office on Wednesday. I'm flying to her, then we're driving to VA so I'll get to see my family. Yay!

Pictured above --- sutures & hand ties!! (They're expired of course.) I've also been practicing my hand ties because no one does instrument ties when suturing. I'm finally starting to get it. Thank goodness. It really seemed like a weak spot for me. So hopefully I'll get to try it out tomorrow.

4+3=7

2010-03-02T18:49:00.004-05:00

I was trying to be a good nurse-midwifery student and put my pt encounters in this god-awful tracking program that they mandate we use. I hate the program. It's not user-friendly, has weird quirks, and is really annoying. Equally aggravating are the brand new sets of ICD9/CPT codes I've got to commit to memory because they're almost completely different for intrapartum than antepartum. The search function sucks so basically I have to keep a cheat-sheet of ICD9/CPT codes that I use. Using these codes helps also keep track of your pt encounters by type (ie. prenatal visit vs. intrapartum delivery.) So I had been trekking through all of my recent pt encounters and I notice that the program has set my default information incorrectly and there is no way to go back and mass-correct. So I have to go back case by case and update the correct information. Gr. *sigh* I digress.

I had a very productive two days in the hospital. Friday I worked with Midwife Ratched who happens to hate my guts. When we came on there was a pt about to deliver and she took my easy multip vaginal delivery first thing in the morning. The nerve! So I was slightly miffed about that. We did end up admitting another pt in pretty good labor later on. Midwife R was a little less possessive and let me manage this woman's labor, push with her, and catch the baby (baby #4 for me!) Unfortunately, both MR and the doc on call were there for the delivery, ordering me to cut an epis. Little autonomy and two-against-one, I did as told. But I don't feel really awesome and midwife-y about it. MR & I did the repair together and all was well. I do have to have at least one to graduate so I got that out of the way.

I ended up coming in on Saturday as well. Talked to MR in the morning (before she went home) to see if it was busy and we had two multips in active labor. Rock on. Midwife H came on who I really like. She's super chill, very friendly and very much hands on with me. She challenges me and really facilitates learning. I've worked with her in the office several times, so I knew she'd be fun on the weekend. Plus I was interested to see the different dynamic when a) the office is closed b) there are no inductions c) docs aren't in-house hovering over your shoulder. I got to postpartum round on the pts who delivered the day before which was pretty cool as well. In addition to our pts, we admitted a drop-in with no prenatal care, contracting @ 4-5cm with a questionable EGA. Then babies came from all directions -- I caught baby #5 at 11a, baby #6 at noon, and baby #7 at 245p. No episiotomies but a second-degree laceration that I repaired pretty darn well. Turns out questionable EGA baby Dubowitzed to post-dates IUGR. The other fun thing that happened was when I was doing a vaginal exam on a pt in labor...felt the cervix, then the baby's head, then ran my finger along the head trying to determine position/sutures when I felt fingernails. Baby had its hand by its head. After feeling the fingernails for a couple seconds, baby got annoyed and balled its hand into a fist and moved it away from me.

And then yesterday I was back in the office with none other than my fav Midwife R. Boo. It's not as exciting when I've had a pretty awesome time in the hospital. But...it has to be done. I still haven't seen any pt from the office in the hospital, but I might. Who knows. Anyway...I've got some case studies to work on for tomorrow's class.

A pretty easy week

2010-02-25T10:51:00.007-05:00

School has been relatively mellow compared to last semester. All of my classes (except for midwifery) have take-home exams and finals. Makes my life a little bit easier. The pharm class still isn't as useful as I'd like for it to be, but I'm making it work. I've got today off and clinical tomorrow. March will be a lot busier...with me in clinic at least 2-3x/week. I should probably continue that trend throughout the rest of my program. Currently, my practice doesn't want me to do 24hr on-call days so I'm stuck going twice a week for 12hr days. Ah well. I was hoping I could be in the hospital overnight without the docs-on-call to see how the midwives manage their patients on their own. Even though the midwives in my practice do most vaginal deliveries, the docs really have a say in how the labor management goes when they're there. So far, I've only seen one hands-off-let-the-midwives-do-it doc who really only provided guidance when we wanted to consult him.

Delivery-wise, I've caught 3 babies so far. I'm pretty much even with the other midwives in my class although one of my classmates has done 5. The sweet number is 40 to graduate, but I'm sure I'll have more than that by December when I finish. So far, my deliveries have been relatively straightforward, healthy and normal. My last catch was Thursday as soon as I got to the hospital. The off-going midwives (my manwife & the practice's new midwife-on-orientation) had saved her for me. :) She was C/C/+1 when me and Midwife A got into the room. Shortly thereafter, I caught baby #3. My first OP (aka sunny side up.) She was a teeny thing -- just under 6lbs but very cute. Mom was intact so no suturing. After that delivery, we had absolutely nothing else to do for the rest of the day save a couple (not in labor) triage pts. I have yet to see a pt in the hospital (laboring or triage) that I've seen in the office as well. I'm sure that will change soon, but I'm still having fun with it. Life is good.

As an aside...there has been a F*cebook explosion of pregnancies among my friends' list. Offhand I can think of at least 7 people who are pregnant. Two people announced pregnancies yesterday and one was announced the day before. It's insane! While I'm super happy for everyone, there is a tinge of jealousy. I wonder what is in the water these days :)

Me & B are doing well and still going strong. I'll get to see her in about a week as she breezes through here on her way out West. Spring Break is also fast-approaching and I'm planning on flying up to see her that weekend after being in clinical three days in a row. Things with the live-in ex gf are also okay. She was kind of mad at me about Vday weekend but soon got over it. I even suspect she's seeing someone (possibly a guy?) We really don't talk about who we're dating and I'd like to keep it that way. I think that could open a Pandora's box of drama that my quiet living situation doesn't need. Our biggest disagreement is about post-breakup-sock-ownership. Lol.

Perks of being a (student) midwife

2010-02-17T10:20:00.001-05:00

You get to be the first one to know when someone is pregnant. I just found out a family friend who's been trying is about 8 weeks.

Finally getting somewhere

2010-02-16T18:37:00.005-05:00

Alright...so on Friday, I caught my first baby -- a boy weighing in at a healthy 8 lbs. It was a first-time mom who was an induction for "post-dates." I was working with Midwife A who I worked with in the office. We came on in the middle of her induction around 4cm. She was complete around 1130a, but baby was still high so we labored her down. She pushed for maybe 15 minutes and we had a baby. I didn't drop him (thank goodness.) He had a nuchal cord x 2 that was easily reduced. She was intact and had just a couple little skid marks...nothing to suture. Placenta came out without difficulty and she had minimal bleeding. Overall...a great first delivery. Somewhere in my deer-in-headlights face, the family asked if this was my first delivery...I said no because -technically- I've been at other deliveries. Just not as the midwife.

This was the day when we had some freak snow storm outta nowhere. Check out what it looked like after just a couple hours (Is it just me or do I need to pay more attention to the weather..?) I left the hospital earlier than expected so I didn't get caught in it and have to spend the night there. We didn't have much going on -- only 3 pts: two who were C/S & the one we delivered.

Onto my fabulous weekend with B. She had to drive through the crappy freak snow storm on Friday while I was at the hospital. It took her a long time to finally get here, most of which was spent trucking through crazy snow and even crazier southern drivers who have no idea how to drive in snow. After a minor freak out moment, she made it here in one piece. We had dinner at a yummy sushi place with my friends from school, W & H who are dating. We stayed with H over the weekend per the breakup agreement of no overnight guests. Saturday we went to brunch with them, then to the aquarium (which was awesome), and Valentine's Day dinner. Sunday I made her my yummy french toast and then we went to see V*lentine's Day which was super cute. We spent the rest of the time just hanging out and she left yesterday.

I spent yesterday in the hospital with a different midwife who I hadn't met before. Midwife C (MC) as she shall be dubbed was interesting to say the least. She felt comfortable with me being hands-on and really seemed to like teaching. Her confidence was not the best ---- it's hard to make a student feel comfortable when you're not. When we came on shift there was no one laboring but that soon changed. We had a few pts in triage...a couple not in labor who were sent home. Then came a multip induction (4+ cm & labile BPs) and 35wk twins w/SROM. The twin momma wanted to go vag so we went for it. Doc on call with us was super freakin impatient the whole day. Very hands on...interventive and pushy. I did not like him hovering over my pts at all. 35wker went vag with both babies...delivered in the OR. I didn't catch them...waaaaayyyy too much pressure. MC was really nervous about that birth. I was glad when it was over. Our induction was chugging along -- wanted to go natural. By 1845, she was complete and wanted to push. So we did --- baby girl (delivery #2) came down nicely. Born around 1900...another 8+ pounder and intact with just a few skid marks. Minimal bleeding. Pushy doc came by while we were pushing and got all up in my space. Gr. He did leave soon thereafter.

It's about time!

2010-02-12T19:07:00.002-05:00

So officially today at 1240p....I caught my first baby. It was a beautiful birth.

Gr.

2010-02-08T17:20:00.005-05:00

So today was supposed to be my first official day in clinical. I got back into town last night, got all ready...woke up super early (circa 5am...wtf.) Traffic sucked royally this morning so it took like an hour-plus to get to the hospital. But I managed to get there on time. 4 accidents later. I walk onto the unit where my midwife-preceptor was getting report from the off-going midwife. I say good morning. That's when she says there's a problem. Apparently, the new midwife who is still orienting to the practice, made a last minute schedule change and would be working today. They didn't want us working at the same time. So all three of them (new midwife, off-going midwife and my preceptor) were like, "Sorry. You have to leave. We can't have you here today." I guess my disappointment was obvious and they tried to smooth it over with, "Don't be upset. You can come another day." But cue my tearful (not-so-graceful) exit.

I am prone to tearfulness when I am super frustrated and angry. And such was the situation this morning. I really was excited and prepared for my first day. I drove 20+ miles in shitty rush hour morning traffic to get there. And they (all of them) didn't care at all. There was no professional courtesy of a phone call at least. I'm certain they knew prior to my arrival of said scheduling conflict. But no one called. Didn't even apologize really. Because they really don't care how much it inconvenienced me. So...I had to get back into my car and drive another 1+ hour through even crappier traffic to get home. What a great freakin way to start my week.

On a happier note, my weekend away with B was awesome. We spent some quality time together...just hanging out. Saw Dear J*hn. It was a cute movie --- two people who have to spend most of their time apart -- a theme with which we can relate. But I didn't really like the ending. We had a fabulous brunch and meandered around an art museum. I have also come to some final decisions about Valentine's Day and I think she'll like what I've got planned. She'll be here on Friday night. We're having dinner with some of my good friends. Then I've got us dinner reservations for Saturday night. There will probably be some brunch somewhere in the mix, but she leaves Monday. I'm so happy to see her two weekends in a row.

A new hospital...

2010-02-04T17:11:00.003-05:00

I just returned from orienting at my new hospital with my manwife preceptor. I got my hospital ID badge, login info, and a general tour of my unit. There are several key differences from my old hospital (where I was in L&D as a nursing student and worked in postpartum for almost 2 yrs.) First of all, this hospital is a lot smaller which I like. All of their LDRs have jacuzzi tubs. My very first interaction with the nurses was a shoulder dystocia drill with Noelle.

Side note: Noelle is a computer simulator woman who can give birth, hemorrhage, etc. The baby can be manipulated in all sorts of ways too -- breech, etc. We have two at my university -- one in the med school and one in the nursing school. So I am pretty familiar with how Noelle works. She can talk...in one of our simulations she said "I don't feel very good" then she vomits (and there are sound effects for that too!) I mainly just observed.

Back to the story. So right from the beginning the nurses are talking to the patient about open-glottis pushing...telling her she can push whenever she feels ready. I literally had my jaw to the floor. Open glottis pushing? Evidence-based nursing care? Did I just enter the twilight zone? Well...since it was a shoulder dystocia drill, there was a shoulder dystocia. And my jaw hit the floor again when they flipped Noelle in hands-knees to deliver the baby. Nurses had no problem with it cos they see deliveries in hands-knees all the time (just in general, not necessarily shoulder dystocias all the time.) Also in this hospital, there are no "nurseries" like my old hospital. All healthy babies room in with their mothers. Also...no OBGYNs do circumcisions there. None of the midwives do it either. Wow...I'm impressed. I think I may like it. We also have an on-call room with a bed, computer for charting & W*tchChild, locker rooms with fairly decent accommodations and everyone was super friendly. My first 12hr day is on Monday with a midwife I've been working with frequently in the office. I'm looking forward to it.

In unrelated news, I'm going out of town for the weekend to spend it with Blondie (aka B.) We picked a destination halfway between us. It should be a lot of fun. A weird thing happened last night. So (as I think I've mentioned before) I dream a lot about being pg -- it's not unusual for me to be going about an everyday dream but 6 or 8 mos pg. Usually, I'm not giving birth and it's just a belly that I notice. I also rarely dream I'm pg with a partner. However last night, I had a very detailed and specific dream about giving birth. I'll try to describe it.

I was laboring on the couch. B was there with me. I went to the bathroom because I thought my bladder was a little full. I peed then got up, but felt the baby come down. I reached my hand down between my legs and felt the baby's hair. I called out to B who came into the bathroom. Just a couple of pushes and B catches this very cute baby girl. She was small -- 6 pounds or so. And I just held her...studying her. She had brown hair, big eyes, ten fingers, ten toes, my nose and was just bright-eyed and calm. B cut the cord. We were all still in the bathroom. Then came the placenta. I was looking at it...trying to make sure it was all there. But it wasn't a normal placenta --- it was shaped like an angel. It didn't bother me. I got cleaned up. And we moved from the bathroom to the bedroom and everyone got into bed for snuggling and breastfeeding. Everything still really calm. Then I woke up.

So when I woke up, I wanted to tell B about this dream. I called her and said I had had the strangest dream. I told her all about it and she was just kind of quiet. When I finished, she said "That is so weird because I had a dream about you giving birth last night too." In her dream, I was also at home, laboring in a pool -- she was with me, supporting me and climbed into the pool to sit behind me while I was giving birth. Her dream ended there. Isn't that so strange? We had very similar dreams at the same time. And we hadn't really spoken about being pg or birth or anything recently. So it's odd that we dreamt the same thing at the same time. I wonder what it all means...

School-wise we have our first midwifery exam of the semester on Tuesday. It covers first and second stage, and lab stuff (local & pudendal blocks, ISE/IUPCs, EBL, placental exam, etc.) We learned our hand maneuvers and the baby's rotation -- so that will be on there as well. I'm not super worried about the test, but I'm studying with one of the other CNM students tomorrow morning before I head out to my weekend with B. Anyway...I've got to get going on packing and homework.

Pictured above: Me snuggling the baby we caught about 30+ times on Tuesday. The midwives decided to name him Oscar.

Super exciting

2010-01-28T09:36:00.005-05:00

This week went by pretty quickly. Monday was our suturing lab class. It was kind of informative but I don't feel comfortable at all with suturing yet. They said we could borrow the instruments (needle holder, forceps, scissors) to practice on our own time but we have to find and acquire sutures. I'm supposed to be in my hospital tomorrow with my preceptor so maybe he can give me a bag full. We will see. I got kind of annoyed bc there is a girl in my program who is always at least 30 minutes late to everything. She doesn't really participate and bond with the rest of the midwives. On lab day, it was no different --- she came in late after we all had to wait for her to arrive. She also came unprepared -- no chicken breasts. She asked if anyone had any extra and someone volunteered that I had an extra breast (which I did.) I said sure and she waltzed over and took my whole package. Didn't say thank you or act gracious or grateful that I had given her my chicken! She just acted entitled to it. I was so mad -- I wasn't the only one with extra but I was the only one who offered. So freakin rude!

We also had our first midwifery skills lab on Tuesday. We talked about determining fetal presentation, lie, and attitude. It's amazing to me at how much of what I do is based on touch and feel. V*rney's recommends feeling all sorts of circular things with our fingertips to estimate their size then measure to see if we're correct. Speaking of my measuring tape...I have no idea where mine ran off to. Hmmm.

My preceptor emailed me today to touch base with me about when I can do my 24-hr call shifts. He wants me to be on call with him first but I'm not available for the next two weekends (bummer.) So we'll have to work that out. I'm not worried about call hours or my delivery numbers. My practice is big enough to where I should be able to get 2-5 deliveries every time I'm on call. We're required to do 40 before we can graduate. Our call hours are continuous until December. The midwifery circle in this area is pretty close-knit and many of my instructors are very familiar with how our preceptors practice. I heard that my preceptor is one of the only midwives in the area who delivers breech/twins/etc. So I'm super excited I will learn that from him. He's been a midwife longer than I've been on the planet. I'm eager to see his practice-style. I haven't had much opportunity to work with him in the office due to our conflicting schedules.

It's so interesting to see how my fellow midwifery-students are developing their own preferences and thoughts about how they want to practice. I feel like I'm in the process of seeing how I want to do things with my patients...being the decision maker is very exciting. And my approach to how I will practice is shaping more and more every day. I feel like I'm getting closer and closer to my life's dream and it's super exciting. Soon I will catch my very first baby. I can't wait.

Not too bad....

2010-01-25T12:50:00.000-05:00

Ow.

2010-01-24T21:14:00.004-05:00

I have to get through this "Perineal Repair" tutorial before tomorrow's lab class on many things including suturing. While helpful in explaining many things, there really wasn't a whole lot of demonstration. Sure, video clips were attached but I couldn't see what was going on. So...I G*ogled it to see if there are any videos out there. Turns out there are but after watching a couple and wincing through the entire thing, I think I'm just going to call it a night. It just looks painful. Ouch.

Follow up: I'm not the only one with this type of reaction. It just takes some time getting used to the idea of suturing a vagina. And separating your work from yourself. Some of my fellow midwifery girls also mentioned the same reaction.

Homework...ugh

2010-01-23T11:19:00.003-05:00

I am avoiding my homework like the plague. I have to read for my pharm quiz due on Tuesday, review the materials for our midwifery lab class on Monday and read for my health policy class too. Blah. My friend had her baby girl yesterday -- 9lb 11oz at home. Big smile. Super proud of her. It seems like a lot of people I know on FB are pg and due in August (my birth month) --- seeing so many of my friends pg only gears up my baby-making itch. I want to have my first by 30, so I've got 5 years or less. Tick tock.

Right now I'm working on my coffee and making steel cut oatmeal for breakfast. Yum. Last night's mixer was boring, but a lot of my friends showed up so it wasn't too bad. I just had one (free) drink and then came home. My best friend from nursing school also came by to hang out for a little while. We'll call her SuperICUnurse. I hardly ever get to see her because of her crazy work schedule and my equally crazy school schedule. Plus she lives really far away. But the stars aligned yesterday and we got some quality time in. We hung out at the house for awhile, just catching up and then went out for sushi. She's probably one of the best things I got out of nursing school. We're going to be friends for life. No matter what. I love her.

The school was sponsoring a version of B*ggest Loser for this semester. Some of my girls signed up so I figured why not. The grand prize was a W*i Fit! Unfortunately, not a lot of my classmates were as amped about it so they cancelled it for lack of participation. Oh well. I've been trying to be better -- working out more. I actually don't eat like crap...in fact, when I keep track of daily intake -- I'm never anywhere near the recommended daily caloric intake. I try to eat all organic, minimally processed foods from the farmer's market. So I've been considering going vegetarian. I really don't eat a lot of meat --- probably the last remaining meat item in my diet is sliced turkey for my sandwiches. So I'm gonna try to phase that out and see if I like being vegetarian. I can't go vegan for my love of all things dairy and eggs. But we'll see how it goes.

Monday is our first midwifery lab -- we're practicing suturing, pudendal blocks, placental examination among other things. I'm really excited to learn all of these fun skills. Next week I think I'm going to ride my bike into school with a classmate. I'm excited to get back on my bike --- I haven't really rode it in a long time. And I've never had the opportunity to ride with someone else. It should be interesting because she bikes all the time. I told her my route was about 5 miles one way and she's like "Oh...so it should take us 20 minutes?" Hahaha -- maybe for her, but I ride leisurely there so I'm not a big sweaty mess that has to sit in class for 8 hours.

Blondie just bought a bike and so when she comes to visit we might go riding together. There are a lot of bike-friendly paths here in the city that we could try out. She's coming down for Valentine's Day (sweet, I know) weekend. The long distance thing is pretty challenging but I don't think it's that bad. I still have absolutely no idea what I'm doing/getting her for Valentine's Day....suggestions would be helpful. I've been stuck on it for a little while. She's not a flowers and chocolate kind of girl. At all. I could make her dinner, we could go out to dinner...but it has to be something more than just that. Alright...I better get on my homework even though I don't want to.

Back to reality

2010-01-22T12:03:00.003-05:00

This first week back has been super easy. I was supposed to have class from 9a-4p on Tuesday but my 3-4p class was cancelled so I ended my first day back at 11a. Not too bad. Wednesday I endured my (yes, it is awful) Pharmacology class, followed by my super awesome Women & Health Policy class. I got out early on day two as well because my lovely carpooling partner was feeling nauseous and didn't want to puke in public. Understandable. I like the policy class already because it's kind of a Women's Studies course about women's health and policy and politics. Very cool. The instructor mentioned we'd be watching a film on the pill and its development. She asked when the pill was released...I replied "1960s...after we tested it on Puerto Rican women without their consent most of which died." She was impressed :) A lot of people don't know the background behind contraception in this country. Like how Margaret Sanger actually wanted contraception to control the population of the immigrants and lower classes --- eugenics-style. Gross.

Next week is a little bit more to handle. Our program director sprung a weekly lab on us Tuesdays 4-5p. I am super excited for this lab for us to practice lovely midwifery things. We're doing a huge lab on Monday from 9-12, including suturing. I need to email my preceptor and get days in the clinic for this month. We start our call shifts in Feb and catching babies should soon follow thereafter. Monday's lecture was on postpartum. I feel pretty comfortable with postpartum because I worked in it for almost 2 years. I knew the answers to most of the questions my instructor posed to the class. We got a new midwifery-convert -- yay; but her name is the same as mine, sad face. I like being the only one. Oh well.

I just bought a new external hard drive so I'm currently porting things from my mac. Hopefully it will lighten my computer up a little bit. Tonight is the grad school's welcome back mixer that I'm going to with a few of my friends. And a good friend of mine from high school is in labor with baby number two today at home. Makes me smile big for her. :)

Catching you up to speed

2010-01-14T10:53:00.002-05:00

So I really have been a bad blogger. In my defense, a lot has been going on with my personal life. (Haha -- a personal life!? Graduate nursing students can have one of those? *sarcasm*) Beloved and I ended our almost 5 year relationship shortly after my last post. It was a completely mutual and no-nonense break up. We still live together with our dogs but are working through the process of separating out 5 years together. I'm fine with it. She's a wonderful person but we just weren't happy together.

And with the end of that relationship, I am now dating a new person. Hmmm...I hadn't thought of a blog name for her --- Blondie works. I've known her for over 8 years and we just reconnected when I was home. She's from my hometown and currently lives in NC. I never thought I'd date someone who lived away from me but it works. We see each other as frequently as possible but my life here is so hectic that it doesn't seem too impossible to do. Also, I love my space and freedom to do what I want -- hang out with my friends, etc. I'm comfortable with my life here alone. My feelings for Blondie snuck up on me out of nowhere. I've never thought of her as someone I'd date. But I am happy and that's what's important.

School is still not in session. We have a very long winter break. I spent the majority of it between NC & VA with my family & Blondie. School starts next Tuesday after MLK day. I'm taking Nurse-midwifery II, Advanced Pharmacology, Women & Health Policy, and Embryology. Sounds like fun, right? This semester is when I will catch my first (and hopefully second/third/fourth/etc) baby. We'll start our call hours in February. For the rest of the program, we will do 24hr call shifts every week and two clinic days a month. I am so excited about it! We're having a skills lab when we first start back to learn episiotomies, nerve blocks, suturing, etc. Yay! I'm feeling more and more like a real midwife every day.

Of course it wouldn't be school without some drama. Here it is --- I'm betting my pharmacology class is going to be utterly and absolutely useless. I've heard a lot of negative stuff about this class. This new professor has been teaching the class for a year but she's not a pharmacist. She lacks clinical experience in advising patients, nurses, practitioners about drugs. She's a pharmacologist --- knows how the drugs work but can't apply it. Our last pharm instructor was a pharmacist who still worked in the clinical setting as well as a pharmacy. He provided a lot of invaluable information to us. I have *all* of his notes so I'm hoping that will make up for this other professor. Maybe I should go into it with an open mind. But I'm skeptical.

I will try to be more on top of the blog posts. I should be chronicling my most important firsts throughout this year. 2010 is the year I become a midwife. Exciting.

Moving right along

2009-10-07T08:51:00.006-04:00

So...I got my first official pelvic exam under my belt -- so to speak. Our "guiding" patient was very knowledgeable about her body and the exam. She was really helpful in finding her cervix, ovaries, etc. I didn't do anything stupid like drop the spec on the floor, or cause her any discomfort. I found her cervix on the first try --- it just "popped" into view. I also palpated her cervix, uterus, and both ovaries. So I'd deem it an overall success. Also helpful, the model closely resembled a good friend of mine from college. Most challenging was not the exam itself but rather the language used throughout the exam. Our model recommended using direct, clear language but to avoid things such as "good," "wonderful," or "great." We needed to focus on "healthy" and "normal." Also interesting was feeling a non-pg cervix...very different from all of my prior cervix-feeling experiences.

In other news, I began my first clinical rotation at a very busy OBGYN office about 30 mi from my house. The practice is large with 9 CNMs, 9 MDs, and 4 WHNPs. They have several offices. I worked with one of (two) male midwives in the area. My preceptor has been a midwife longer than I've been on this planet. The office was fast-paced and we saw 17 patients in a "not so busy" day. Also, this first day was supposed to be mostly observation, but that didn't last long. Within the first twenty minutes, I was checking cervices, doing bimanual exams, measuring fundal height, listening to FHTs, and doing a majority of the physical assessment. Most interesting case of the day....a pt who comes in with 2 +HPTs and an IUD. In our office, she had a +pg test so we pulled the IUD. Turns out she had a ruptured bleeding ectopic on the right side. We sent her to the hospital for surgery. Kind of a big deal for my first day. I saw pts from age 16-61. And I worked with both midwives in the office. I'm going to be doing two days a week in the office for the rest of the semester. Seeing pg pts is my most-favorite, especially when they're full of baby. I just love laying hands on pregnant bellies and talking to the mommas. Just reinforces my love for what I will soon be doing. I found myself working with newly pg pts, calculating their EDC, then wondering...maybe I'll catch your baby.

And on another note, I think ICD9 & CPT codes are horrible. We have to track all of our patient encounters in a database for school. We have to add every patient we see as well as use the appropriate ICD9 and CPT codes. This is quite overwhelming...I've only been able to enter 6 of my 17 patients from this week. Ridiculousness continues....please explain to me why there's an ICD9 code for a Bartholin gland cyst and abscess but not a code for Skene gland cyst or abscess...? (Had a pt with one of those too.) I'm sure the coding will get a lot easier as I go along, but for right now with all of the other work I'm doing...it's way too much.

School is going alright --- I'm finding that a lot of information we're getting is repeated from my undergrad, since I am a segue student. In particular, my Advanced Pathophysiology class is almost verbatim from my other pathophysiology class. It's sort of annoying but also convenient because I saved all of my notes & study note cards (via iFlash). So I think I've got an advantage. My research class is terrible...full of time-consuming unimportant busy work. I will be happy to have this semester over.

Up for today...male genitourinary exam with a DRE on a "guiding" patient. This is going to be horribly traumatic as I will never take care of adult males, ever! Some of the other midwifery students did the exam last week and said it was terrible. *sigh* I see some alcohol in my near future.

I'm heading out tomorrow to go to VA for fall break. I'm super excited to see the family for a few days. I know I'll spend some of my time reading & studying because we have a midwifery exam on the day we come back.

On a side note, this week was Midwifery Appreciation Week :) We're having a celebratory ACNM chapter meeting next Tuesday. I'm really enjoying getting involved with the local chapter and going to meetings. The midwives in the area are a really closely-knit circle. A lot of our preceptors, we've met at the chapter meetings. I've got a lot more to share, but this is a good start.

T minus 3 hrs 15 mins

2009-09-23T13:41:00.002-04:00

...until my very first official pelvic exam. I'm sort of nervous but not-so-much as my classmates who have already gone before say it's not a big deal. The big nurse-midwifery test was yesterday and I did pretty well. Although we did have some random ass questions that weren't very good. I think they may throw them out so my grade will be boosted a little more. Current lecture topic is breast health. Next up...sexual health. Followed by my female gyn check off.

I'm taking an extra elective class which is driving me nuts. The format and content isn't really fun for me. Plus it keeps me on campus an extra 16 hrs for the next couple weeks. I heard through the grapevine that we are getting our clinical assignments next week. Then we're off to clinical doing all sorts of well-women care., including pelvics, paps, prenatals. I'm super excited. I hope my site is appropriate for me.

Still haven't called the clinic director yet. I've been putting it off because I've been enjoying my minimal time off. Fall break is fast-approaching and I will be heading home to spend some time with the family for a few days. Gonna go back to paying attention....

Back in action

2009-09-20T12:24:00.003-04:00

So blogosphere...I am back. A lot has been going on with life and school -- so let me hit the highlights. I finished the BSN portion of my program, passed my NCLEX, and now am working on the *uber fun* MSN portion. I had been working pretty regularly but decided to leave my job to focus more on school. I will (hopefully) get another job at a women's clinic in the area where my friend works. Unfortunately, the hiring manager is very bad at following up with people so it will probably involve me hounding her.

Classes this semester are: Advanced Pathophysiology, Theory & Research, Nurse-midwifery I, and Advanced Health Assessment. I also added an elective -- Teaching Institute. I've been in school for about three weeks now and have been quite busy. In fact, my very first pelvic exam will happen this Wednesday with a professional medical model. My first test is Tues in NMW, so I've been studying/reading/reviewing for that. We've covered STIs, Family Planning, BV, normal pregnancy database, and maternal physiological adaptations to pregnancy. Sounds like a lot, but most of it is review. No clinical yet; they start sometime in October with just office hours. Next semester is when we begin to take call and catch babies. So stay tuned.

And although, I've been gone for awhile, I do still read all of my favorite blogs. In fact, a lot of information gleaned from my blog-reading is shared with my classmates and professors. Most recently, I showed everyone the Beautiful Cervix Project . It's awesome because we're learning about what healthy cervices look like as well as the influence of hormones on the cervix.

Anyways...life is good. All is well. I'm so excited I'm all the closer to catching my first baby.

Blech

2009-04-23T08:36:00.001-04:00

I don't feel so hot this morning. I'm up early at school for this dumb emergency preparedness simulation. In fact, I thought the sim was at 8am, but it really doesn't start until 9am. Boo. I could have slept an extra hour. Oh well. My stomach is upset this morning. It kinda feels like I still have last night's dinner in there. Worrisome, but I'm going to just keep an eye on it. So I'm sorta nauseous and cranky. And I've already taken some Tums that haven't helped much. I have a pocketfull just in case.

Went to work on Tuesday night and had my first bleeder. Yay! Not yay that someone bled, but yay that I got to experience it. My boss and I had joked that I hadn't had one yet so I suppose she jinxxed me. This lady had a normal (vaginal) delivery and everything looked alright when she came up to the floor. Although, I had a nagging feeling about her. Sure enough, within an hour, she almost completely tanked. Hypotension, lots of bleeding -- we had to break out the "bleeder box." The box is this bright orange tacklebox full of things you'd need to handle a bleeder. Think: a code cart, sort of. Tons of people come -- supervisors, LDR charge, MD, the lab, etc. I helped out a bunch -- documented, ran to get supplies, etc. Overall, we fixed her and her bleeding stopped. So yay. Score one for me.

After a bleeder, you have to replace the box. This was my job which involved me carrying the old one down to the basement of the hospital. BTW, hospital basements are never a good thing. The place I had to go was next door to the morgue. Lovely. Also, this bright orange box marked in bold with "BLEEDER BOX" catches a lot of attention if you're just walking around. Several people (staff mostly) were like OMG where are you going? And I was like...Oh no --- nowhere -- we already did it.

((Yawn.)) Anyways...I think that's as exciting as I get this early in the morning. I hope my stomach gets better soon. I hate feeling nauseous. More later.

Mmmm coffee

2009-04-18T16:20:00.000-04:00

So I'm sitting here with my nice warm yummy cup (number 1 out of 3) of coffee. Ever since I quit smoking, I transferred my dependence to this little cup. It's also during this nice spring weather that I want to smoke more than ever. I didn't like smoking in the summer, but the spring was my favorite. I'm glad I quit when I did, but feel like I could start back up at any minute. I still think there's something sexy about it. But realistically, I couldn't imagine smoking during nursing school. Your classmates/professors harp on you enough without you doing the #1 preventable risk factor for an abundance of medical conditions. It would be more than I could stand.

I slept pretty well. Went to bed around 3ish after working out and showering. I don't know why I like to work out at 1 or 2am. It really calms me down and gets me ready for sleep. Plus, there's no one in my apartment's little gym. On Thursday, I broke out my Total Gym and had a pretty decent upper body workout. I'm still sore. Yesterday, I was especially girly. I painted my toenails and primped for awhile. I also had some yummy beer. Some restaurant's special brew. Yum.

The plan for today is work at 7p. I have to be really good about being on time since I was late last time. Boo. We have no "grace" period for when we clock in. And without a doubt the most annoying thing is someone who stands at the clock, swiping their decrepit badge that won't scan, as other (on time) employees pile up in line behind the dumbass as the precious minutes tick away. I mean cmon ... you know your badge doesn't work well, so please GET OUT OF THE WAY! It's super annoying and happens pretty much every time I go to work. I need to pick up a few shifts so I can have some extra cash. I just don't feel like working any more than I already do.

So as far a job concerns go, I am more than likely staying at my hospital after I graduate. They have said (unofficially) that I can stay on after graduation and continue to work, getting paid RN salary for doing the job I currently do now. SWEET! Then once, I pass boards, I will take their intern class. The official party line is that the next class isn't until September, but I'm not sure if I will want to wait that long. So the plan is to stay on as a tech, get paid RN salary, and I'm under no obligation to wait around until the intern class starts. Then, if I don't want to stay, I will already have my license and I can look for work elsewhere. But the job market (even healthcare) sucks right now. Only 10 or so of my 95 classmates have jobs after they graduate. Pretty much by this time last year, most of the graduating class had positions. Nowhere is hiring -- most hospitals are on a hiring freeze. My hospital is only offering positions in-house to people who already work there. And I will have been with them a year in June. Although Mother-Baby isn't my ideal, I will take just about anything now.

As far as graduation, it's fast approaching. Since I'm in the segue program, I am not "officially" graduating but I am still participating in the activities. It was really hard to get this degree (Bachelor of Science in Nursing). And I'm pretty proud of myself. I think getting here will be the most difficult part of my program. I took my exit exam and it predicted that I will 99.9% pass my NCLEX the first time I take it. So I'm just going to keep reviewing but not go overboard. Our pinning ceremony is May 9th. This is probably the biggest deal. Graduation is May 11th with us participating in the school-wide commencement, then having our own nursing school ceremony. My dad is supposed to be down for that weekend but he has yet to purchase a plane ticket. I think I'm going to end up just buying it and he can pay me back. He's the worst at making arrangements like this. My stepmom is still on the fence about coming because it's Mother's Day weekend. With all of the recent familial turmoil, she thinks she wants to spend it with her mom. And plus, I'll have another graduation May 2011. You can't be too picky when you've already had a graduation or two. By the time I'm finished, it will have been three! I need to stop with the higher education. Another good friend has a cousin who is graduating from Emory too, so he's thinking about coming down.

I need to figure out my summer agenda. I want to go home sometime for awhile. But I'm not sure how my schedule is going to be at work. I'm just kinda waiting it out. I know I want to go like June/July, perhaps even take my NCLEX in VA. August is going to be a challenge to go anywhere. We're not renewing our lease here, so we'll be moving Aug 1. We haven't found a place but I'm sick of living here. With the real estate situation as it is, I think we'd be able to easily find a cute little house for rent in one of our favorite neighborhoods for what we pay here in rent. Plus, I want a yard so the dogs can go outside and play. We'll see how it all works out.

I really haven't had a lot of VA people come to visit, but a few of them have mentioned coming down here to hang out. over the summer I think it would be pretty fun. Although, I have one really good friend here, there are a lot of friends that I have in VA that can't be replaced. Plus I miss my good friends. It's hard to appreciate living in the same place for pretty much your entire life, how everyone knows everyone, until you move to a completely different place. You forget how much you rely on personal connections and networking for all sorts of things (such as getting an appointment with so-and-so's hairstylist). I do like this area, but am unsure I will want to stay here after I'm finished.

What a night!

2009-02-24T00:28:00.001-05:00

I just had the best night in L&D since I began school. Finally my preceptor and I had laboring patients. Not cervidil inductions with "therapeutic" rest or Pitocin inductions. Actual patients who were in real labor, on their own terms. Freakin' finally! So when we got on shift, we had a pt who was pushing. Her birth was alright ... her OB showed up for literally five minutes, to yell at her for her pushing, impatiently cut a ML epis, delivered the baby, the placenta, threw a stitch in the perineum, gave a quick fundal massage and abruptly left. I swear he was there for no more than five minutes. We finished her recovery period, did pericare, fundal massage, took VS, straight cath'ed her, got her cleaned up and ready to go upstairs (postpartum). Pretty much within minutes, we were admitting someone else in actual labor. She was sent from the office because she was dilated 4/80%/-2. She denied feeling any of her q 2-3 minute contractions, but happily made progress until 7 cm when she politely asked for her epidural. She was such a wonderful patient. I wished we could have been there for her delivery.

My most favorite patient was this woman who suffered from Marfan's syndrome. She had a PMH of preterm labor and she labored quickly. She came in dilated 4/80%/-2 with regular contractions. We got her comfortable and she labored well. I got to check her cervix twice after she got her epidural. She went quickly from 5 to 7 to complete. She pushed maybe a half a push and her baby was born. Her OB was fantastic. Probably the best OB-attended birth I've ever seen. He didn't break down the bed and put the pt in stirrups. He sat at the edge of the bed, encouraged her to push when she felt ready, basically caught the baby, let dad cut the cord and told him to "present" his baby to the world. Dad picked up the baby and presented him to mom and grandma. Baby went immediately skin-to-skin with mom (this has been the first time I've ever seen the illusive immediate postpartum skin-to-skin.) Mom's OB said that his midwives had been rubbing off on him. Intact perineum, no rough man-handling of the placenta, no loud provider-directed pushing, no alarmist comments; overall, very reassuring, calm and collected. He stayed for a little while afterward, but it was a really quiet, low-key birth. Awesome way to end an 8 hour shift.

Happy (almost) Valentine's Day

2009-02-12T15:17:00.003-05:00

So it's almost Valentine's Day. I've been super busy but that's nothing new. My weeks are about 60 hours of actual stuff I have to do (work, school, and clinical.) Plus I've been trying to buy a pre-owned car in my (non-existent) spare time. Beloved is going out of town for Valentine's Day so she surprised me with one of my most favorite things (an Ed*ble Arrangement). Ever since my family sent me one for my birthday, I loved them! Isn't it cute? I got her a couple of DVDs she wanted.

This past week we had to attend an "interdisciplinary team training" day with M3 medical students. It was mostly boring and somewhat interesting. We did a simulation together where we were able to mix up what roles (med students could be nurses and vice versa.) They focused a lot on Universal Precautions. I'm pretty sure this entire day was someone's thesis as we had to sign consents, do pre and post-activity surveys. Blech. After that day, I went to clinical and attended a surgery where no Universal Precaution (ie. surgical time out) was done. So much for integrating theory into practice.

Clinical has been going well this week. I circulated a stat section and recovered the patient. She ended up going to my floor in Mother-Baby so I saw her the next day when I was working. Actually, this past Tuesday I saw a lot of moms who delivered on Monday night when I was at clinical. It's funny because they remembered my face & name. Kinda hard to explain to them why I see them all the time. But whatever. I emailed the powers that be at work to see if it would be fine for me to stay on as an RN once I graduate. I don't anticipate any problems. I'm 0 for 3 in the IV starting department. The last one I tried I got flashback but then her vein just disappeared. I'm not stressing it -- it's just one of those skills that you have to just keep working at in order to consistently get it.

Another project I've been working on is purchasing a car. It has been going on for the past couple of weeks. I know I want a H*nda -- either 2006 or newer. It's kind of been narrowed down to two or three cars. I'm going to test drive one in a little while and see if I can talk their price down at all. If not, I will buy the car I've had my eye on for a little while. Either way, I will post pics once I get it. I haven't had a car for awhile, but I've promised myself I won't abandon my bike, especially now since the weather has been so beautiful. I can handle 70 degree weather in February. Hopefully it's not a fluke.

I've been eagerly waiting to see some expectant friends in L&D. Maybe I will run into you all tomorrow? I'll be in L&D from 3-11p. Saturday I will be doing Mother-Baby 7p-7a. Let me know.

Blogging while stuffing my face

2009-02-02T19:25:00.003-05:00

Alas, I am at the hospital again. I swear I practically live here between my 24 clinical hours and my 24 actual working (and getting-paid-for-it) hours. I have my computer because I came straight from school to the hospital. Tonight I'm posted in HRP (High risk pregnancy.) My new preceptor is a clinician so we don't have formal patient assignments. Although non-traditional, I think it fairs better for me because I get to do things with different patients. I pre-opped a C/S, drew labs, and urine specimens. HRP is good for starting IVs and clinical skills, in general. The next IV start is all me. I think I should do alright. No pressure. Anyways ... my preceptor is all about teaching and letting me go out there and do stuff. I'm all for that. I might start an IV on GuyRN who has awesome veins. We will see. Only 3 and 1/2 hours to go. I'm beat.

Beloved made me such a wonderful dinner. Rice & beans with some yummy steak in there. She's really learned how to cook recently. I love it. Alright...I'm headed back.

Gr

2009-02-02T08:50:00.002-05:00

I am annoyed for the following reasons:

My teacher says that ORIF always refers to the hip. Google "open reduction internal fixation" and you come up with more things than just a hip replacement.
Same teacher says a moist wound bed is bad for wound healing. Wrong.

That is all for now. At least I still have my coffee in my hand.

25 Things about Me

2009-01-24T16:25:00.007-05:00

Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person that tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.

Coffee is my ultimate love. It is the first thing I want in the morning -- the one thing I need to get my day started. Please don't ask me to make any major decisions without first having my morning cup 'o joe. I even purchased a brand new coffee maker for my parent's house because I snobbily disapproved of theirs.
I'm kind of a nerdy geek. I like technology, the internet, new gadgets, and marching band. I think nerdy is cool.
Despite my nurturing spirit, I can kill almost any plant that comes into my life.
I want to be a midwife more than anything. It's my calling. Seeing a baby come into this world is by far the most amazing thing I have ever seen. Ever. It warms my heart when my friends say they want me as their midwife when they have babies.
I'm Native American -- NC Cherokee to be specific.
My family, especially my father, are my heart and soul. I would do anything for them. It sucks being so far away. I'm the oldest of 9 children. Amazingly, I can remember everyone's names! Mostly, we all look like my dad.
I was a nanny for like 6 years before coming to Atlanta. My favorite was nannying for twin girls. I still stay in contact with their momma. They're four this May.
I've only quit one job. Ever. It was a horrible job that has scarred me for life.
Sometimes, I boycott shaving, especially in the winter. It takes up too much of my time.
My Fuji Crosstown 2.0 in burgundy is my primary mode of transportation. I have a rack, an Ortlieb waterproof pannier, and (new) black fenders. I hope to add new bell soon.
I can be super mean when you're trying to wake me up. I say things I don't remember and will tell major lies in order to stay in bed. Not sure how this is going to work when I'm on call-shifts.
I want lots of kids. Circa 5 or more. And I want to have my babies at home.
I don't really like to put my clothes away. If it weren't for Beloved, I'd have my clothes decorating every surface of my apartment.
I graduated with a BA in Women's Studies in 2007. My diploma still isn't framed.
I don't really like cartoon-themed scrubs. I have sworn to myself that I will not wear them.
My DivaCup is freakin' awesome. If you have any questions, please ask.
Aside from my eyes, I'd say my breasts are one of my best features. People who don't know my name at school have aptly settled on the girl "with the boobs."
I used to smoke. I quit almost 4 years ago when I started dating Beloved. I'm so glad it happened before nursing school.
I like the L Word. Even better than the show is the Planet Podcast with KC & Elka. They are so funny.
I like artists. My two most serious relationships have been with a painter & a musician.
I had two monologues in my university's production of The Vagina Monologues. My father and entire family attended. I had the see-you-next-Tuesday monologue.
My baby brother is 7 years old. He was born when I was a senior in high school. He and I are super close. I was the only one who could put him down to sleep until age 2. He's still spoiled. People used to mistake him for my son.
I am friends with all of my exes. Pretty standard in the lesbian community.
I'm addicted to Pandora & PandoraJam.
A quote from Peggy Vincent's Baby Catcher, "Seeing a white dove fly free from a wizard's cupped hands paled in comparison to watching a glistening baby with pink fingernails and wet eyelashes appear from inside a woman's body. It wasn't magic. It was real. In that moment, I knew I wanted to spend my life caring for women having babies."

Please leave me a comment to yours, so I can read it. Thanks for playing!

I tag:

But if anyone else who I didn't tag wants to play, go right ahead! Just leave me a link to the post so I can read it.

It's been awhile

2009-01-22T16:28:00.003-05:00

I know I've been a terrible blogger of late but much has been going on in my personal life thus forcing me into survival mode these past few months. Last semester was my Med/Surg clinical. In the midst of that, my father had a terrible freak accident, I missed weeks of class, went home on several unplanned trips, and barely made it through the semester -- emotionally, physically, academically or otherwise. His health is just starting to come around again, but I bounced back much slower than anticipated. During all of this, my car died so I donated it to charity. As a result, my bike and I have been spending a lot of time together. I've just started my last semester before becoming a RN (real nurse -- lol). This semester should be fairly easy and quiet since I completed my community health course last summer. Right now I'm sick with the flu (type A -- to be specific) despite getting the vaccine. And that brings us up to speed.

I'm currently doing my role transition (senior practicum) in Labor & Delivery at my hospital where I work. I've only had one day on the floor so far and I really enjoyed myself. My preceptor seems interested in teaching me, so that's always a plus. And I am working in a familiar setting where I have a locker, know people, and in general feel quite comfortable. I had hoped to "try on" this unit to see if I wanted to work there after I pass my NCLEX. Unfortunately, they don't let you do part-time in L&D so I may just end up working in Mother/Baby. As long as I have a job, then I will be happy. I'm ironing out the details but should have a position secured shortly. It's nice to know you'll have somewhere to go once you're done with school. I'm not interested in working on a Med/Surg floor at all.

In reflecting on my experience on the L&D floor, it's much better than my prior maternity rotation at the university-affiliated hospital. Did I mention that student midwives from our university do not have privileges at the university hospitals? How ludicrous is that? Our students come to my hospital or another public institution for their training. Can you imagine the med students not being able to practice in our university hospitals? There would be an outrage. This is one area that really angers me about my program. Needless to say, the lack of midwifery care at the university hospital is apparent. In my practicum, I have already worked with a couple midwives. I always ask them where they went to school -- last week I had someone from Georgetown and before that someone from my program.

Beloved and I are doing well. Her father is helping me to find another car to purchase. I'm thinking about the Honda Fit because I think it's super cute. I want something small and practical. Hondas seem to last forever -- my very first car was a Honda. I'm ready for something practical.

Despite my silence, I have still been keeping up with my favorite blogs. I'm sure I will be back to posting regularly now.

Morning thoughts

2008-09-25T10:57:00.003-04:00

Life has been super busy for me lately. Balancing class, clinical, studying, family, and work have been keeping me pretty occupied. I've come to the conclusion that I really dislike Med/Surg. While the content is interesting --- the whole cleaning up poo, wiping butts, catheterizing people, looking at drains and tubes, measuring what comes out of them, and in general being around sick people and their accompanying smells really is not what I want to do. Plus I have an overarching fear of "old" people which has not been assuaged by dealing with them each week. I try to "grin and bear it" but yesterday I reached my limit -- teary-eyed -- in a failed attempt to straight cath my pt. Thankfully this limit was met at the end of my 12 hour shift and at the completion of my 1st four-week Med/Surg. rotation. I will get 4 weeks "off" in my Psych. rotation but then will be back with a vengeance for the last 4 weeks of this semester.

In political news, I've got this financial crisis on my mind mainly because I've been hearing all about it for the past couple of days. (Blame NPR.) Also, there's craziness surrounding gas down here. Every time we pass a gas station, there are at least 5-8 cars in line for gas at all hours. Gas stations are out of gas -- it's really weird. I've never seen this type of thing in VA when I was there. So I guess we're really in a crisis. Thank goddess I purchased a bike in March. I haven't driven my car in awhile. Should I need an automobile, I just take Beloved's car.

I took this morning off -- I'm supposed to be in class, but decided that I needed a stimulus-free morning home with the dogs. After clinical, I find that I'm quite over-stimulated. There's smells (generally unpleasant), constant sounds of various sorts -- people talking, beeps, buzzers, machines, phones, beepers, and harsh light. When I get home, silence is golden. I think I'm not meant to work during the day. After doing both days and nights, I much prefer the relatively semi-quiet night shift. Although we're busy at night, it's easier to work rather than spend *all* day in the hospital. But I recently learned in my Professional Development class that night shift workers live shorter lives. Fantastic!

I'm so far enjoying my Birth & Global Health class. It's wonderful to see other people learn about birth and want to create change. I feel like it was me a few years ago. I love to be able to help others along their journey. Plus I'm learning too. It's not an academically-rigorous course so I have time to enjoy the content and discussion. Well I suppose my stimulus free morning must come to an end because I have a test tomorrow that I need to study for.

Orgasmic Birth

2008-09-08T11:22:00.003-04:00

School is back in full swing. We started back the last week of August. I am entertaining a pretty busy schedule including Med/Surg. and Psych. clinical rotations. We started our first IVs on each other last week -- all of us succeeding! I decided to take an elective class called Birth & Global Health taught by one of my favorite midwives at the school. Its syllabus includes some great authors such as Robbie Davis-Floyd, Jennifer Block, Marsden Wagner, Brigitte Jordan, etc. I'm enjoying the content very much so far.

Before school resumed, I stole a little bit of time away from work and went home for a much-needed visit/vacation. I miss my family terribly and enjoyed catching up with them. We spent a lot of time just hanging out at the house, even went to the beach as a family! I saw a lot of good friends as well. Overall, it was a wonderful visit and exactly what I needed to start school off on the right foot.

Working at the very busy hospital in Mother-Baby is going well also. I took care of my first lesbian couple this past weekend. I'm not out at work, so it's interesting to hear what co-workers had to say in reference to this family. I wanted to chat them up but decided against it. Also interesting this weekend was very anti-choice snippets overheard in the nursery. I simply cannot understand this point of view at all. I've cut down to only working 2 nights/week, but can occasionally pick up shifts if needed. I feel like working has helped me a lot in feeling comfortable in a clinical setting, effectively managing my time with several patients, and working on interpersonal skills. Also, I've gotten pretty excellent at breastfeeding instruction. They call me the "breastfeeding guru" on our floor. I will help anyone at anytime breastfeed. I'm a breastfeeding-initiator and have helped a lot of my patients get off to the right start.

I have been cycling pretty regularly throughout the summer. Combined with the 15,000 steps walked each shift at work, I've lost a substantial amount of weight (circa 20 lbs.) without even really trying. I had my first official fall from my bike last week which resulted in a huge bruise on my calf and a turned ankle. I will survive, but am certain I will be purchasing a pannier to center my weight lower on my bike. Right now I've got a rack with a milk crate. While it works amazingly, when loaded, it carries weight much higher on the bike and can result in instability. So I think I may bite the bullet and purchase a bonafide pannier to install.

Yesterday I got up earlier than normal to attend a screening of Orgasmic Birth. It's pretty much in line with Business of Being Born but it focuses more on the sensuality of birth. A few orgasmic births are documented but not as many as it would seem since that is the title of the movie. The main message was that birth can be pleasurable. It was nicely done and I'd recommend it. After the movie, there was a small panel of people to do a Q & A session. It included two local midwives (CPM and a CNM) and two women who wanted to share their birth stories.

Afterward, myself and two fellow classmates waited to speak with the midwives. Many of the midwifery students in my program whole-heartedly support homebirth; however when trying to make contacts and connections within the birth community, CNM students face resistance with the CPMs. This questioning of "Why do you want to be a CNM?" spurred a conversation among our group. I really wish there was more of a collegial relationship between CNMs and CPMs. Both have valuable knowledge and resources. I feel that if midwives (in general) show a united front, we would perhaps have a stronger voice. For me, the education I'm receiving provides me with important skills and knowledge that I feel are invaluable. Additionally, working within a system in order to create change is my ideal. A spirit of collaboration instead of divisiveness is what needs to happen. Nurse-midwives aren't all "just as bad as doctors" -- there are a lot of midwives agitating for change and working just as hard as CPMs to see it happen. Just because CNMs work within the system doesn't necessarily mean they agree with it. This is an issue that continuously reoccurs within our circle.

I have some awesome pictures that I will post later. Sorry for the silence -- I have been keeping up with all of you even though I haven't written much myself.

Busy month

2008-06-30T13:42:00.002-04:00

So I've resorted to becoming a once-a-month blogger. I am resolved to blog more than that but sometimes my life doesn't seem interesting enough to write about. My two weeks in South Georgia were amazing. We provided care to both the migrant farm workers and their children. Overall I think we ended up seeing 500-600 people which is no small feat. Our mornings consisted of screenings for the children at school -- ages from 3-15. We got them ready for school (GA requires certain paperwork in order for kids to be able to start school.) I helped to screen hearing, vision, blood glucose, height & weight, and hemoglobin. I can't imagine how scary it must be for the littlest of the group -- the 3 & 4 year olds -- who speak Spanish, go to a strange place (school) with teachers who speak English. It was actually quite cute though because we got a system down by the end of our time there. I had kids who remembered my name and waved hello to me after they had finished up with us. It was cute. The kids were by far my favorite part.

In the evenings, we setup camp at different farm sites each night. The farm workers came in from the fields around dusk and we began seeing patients. It was hot and muggy, lots of gnats and other bugs, but they waited patiently to be seen. I worked a lot with intake -- doing intake independently in Spanish. My Spanish has improved exponentially and I had a long conversation with a young farm worker about his life. One patient in particular had a badly infected finger that was swollen grotesquely to mid-forearm and streaked up way past the elbow. He was beyond our capacity and our clinic liaison drove him to the ER. Although we got to him in time before he went septic, they weren't able to save the finger. We are able to provide care and also refer patients to the local clinic that could handle things beyond our scope. The local clinic is awesome. We worked as an extension of them and really enable them to reach a large number of people. They also provide continuity of care by following up with those who need it. They will pick up migrant workers to bring them to the clinic, take them to the hospital if necessary, help find funding for care (like in the situation of the man who had to have his finger amputated), provide other services and are source for community referrals, etc.
While in South GA, we also had the opportunity to pick in the fields. Pictured above is a zucchini squash field where I picked.

Once I back in the ATL, I immediately began my new job. It's at a non-Em0ry hospital (imagine that!) and I'm very excited about working there. Last week was mainly hospital orientation, boring HR/administrative stuff, computer class, and unit orientation. Today will be my first night shift on the unit. Although I'm still in orientation, we'll actually be providing patient care! I'm working as a tech on a postpartum floor in one of the busiest hospitals in the area. So far my experience has been positive. My orienter introduced me to everyone we met. I will be in orientation for the next 3 weeks. After that, I go to my home floor and work my shift independently. After a two month job search, I'm happily settled in at my new job. I will stay on even into the school year and perhaps even work as an RN after I pass my NCLEX.

Also coming up -- ATL Pride is this weekend. Not sure what I'm going to do but I know I want to check some of it out. I've never been to pride (here or anywhere) and everyone says it's so much fun. I have to work this weekend so I'm not sure what I will be up for. That's all I've got so far. Wish me luck on my first night shift.

Chaotically Connected

2008-05-21T20:05:00.003-04:00

Today in class, we were talking about different frameworks within which you can look at families. In discussing the meaning of families, it brought my own to my mind. In one such framework, you could classify your family by looking at certain characteristics. I did the assessment for my family in particular and it was determined that my family is "chaotically connected." This phrase completely describes my family. And I've never been able to describe my family in so few words. This does it perfectly.

Upon further examination of my job search efforts, I have realized why my ego has taken such a blow this past month. To preface my analogy, I will say that I am a complete serial monogamist. I rarely am single for longer than a few months. And then I tend to get in long, serious, and committed relationships (what lesbians don't? Just kidding.) The search for employment is very similar to looking for a partner -- a mate -- a boyfriend, or girlfriend. First of all, it is generally a goal or expectation for a person to have a relationship. The same holds true for a job. When one begins the search for a job, you must look in several different places, change your resume slightly to fit the job description, and then anxiously wait for a phone call. The phone call. The one that sets up the "big date." You pick out a nice outfit, shave your legs, leave your hair down and go over what you should or should not say on your date. You show up on time, smile, laugh at their jokes, and tell them about yourself. After the interview, you're feeling like it went great, but now the waiting begins again. And in my particular case, I would have these amazing interviews, but no return phone call. I would even do the cordial thing by sending an email or leaving a message thanking the person for their time. Still nothing. All in all, this experience has taught me that searching for a job is like dating but without any of the fun stuff (like making out.) And when you least expect it, dressed like you always are, hair messed up, you meet someone amazing, conversation is effortless, and you get your second call. Looking for a job is totally like dating and I'm glad I've decided to go steady with a hospital that offered me a position today!

This is summer?

2008-05-19T21:33:00.002-04:00

I meant to write a post last week after the fury of final exams had subsided. But I completed almost all my other to-dos. However I've had a few other things on my mind. My second semester of nursing school was successfully completed while maintaining my sparkling 4.0 GPA. (I figure I better enjoy it while it lasts or doesn't...) Grades and exams went off without a hitch. The devil of a research paper was finished and turned in. In fact, our group submitted the abstract for presentation at a conference. Everything turned out just fine. Now I'm back to school with a vengeance (Mon-Fri) complete with 4 chapters of reading per night.

Unfortunately, my hunt for employment hasn't been nearly as successful at all. I have been searching for a job for almost a month now and nothing has concretely panned out. In the past, I have found employment within a few days or a week. Never a month. Never this long. And it's not like I'm some crazy person off the street without any solid work history, prior references, a criminal record, or a high-school drop-out (not making any judgment calls about the employability of others with these characteristics.) I have gone on several interviews -- wonderfully professional and cordial interviews -- witty jokes and smiles were exchanged, hands were shaken, but no jobs were offered, no returned phone calls. At this point, I'm getting really discouraged. It has been weighing heavily on my mind and heart. Perhaps a contributing factor is my participation in the farmworker program. Many employers don't look favorably on 2 weeks of vacation (...so what if I'm helping a vulnerable population...) --- I guess. So now I'm wandering in the abyss of self-doubt about whether or not I made the right decision to be in the program -- to pass up externship programs and money. Ultimately, I do believe I made the right decision but I just have to weather this rough patch before it gets better. (That's assuming that it *will* get better soon!) As my clinical instructor says, "If it can be fixed with money, it's not really a problem..."

A former doula client of mine is going back to work at the end of the summer and has been strongly hinting that she'd like me to nanny for her. While the job sounds easy enough -- I love the family and the baby -- I'm not sure it will work with my schedule. She has called me several times and even had her husband call me to convince me to come. While they are quite adamant about having me with them, the job wouldn't start until Aug -- and I need money as of yesterday. So that doesn't really help me out much. I may resort to hitting the pavement, passing out flyers for some quick cash. Tomorrow is an interview for a paid internship with PP which sounds promising. There may be another interview in the works for this week as well. I'm tired of interviewing, applying, resume-ing...I just want a job. Is that so difficult? From what I've heard from my friends who relocated as well -- the job market here is very interesting and it does take a long time to get a job.

Completely unrelated is my new fascination with Pandora --- I'm listening to it as I write. I've been looking for internet radio but managed to not find out about it until today. When I'm working, I like to listen to classical music. I tried purchasing classical CDs but I get tired of the same songs playing over and over. I hate most of the radio stations here -- that part of my regional identity refuses to budge. I still listen to my old NPR station online. It's a small piece of home down here in GA. One time, I even heard the traffic report and made a mental note that I'd need to leave earlier because of the traffic. Then I realized that I was in GA and wouldn't need the VA traffic report. It's the small things that make me homesick.

Speaking of home, I miss my family terribly. It's been almost 6 months since I saw them last. I haven't been away from them for this long since I used to live with my mother before high school. This particular time is especially hard because it's "the season" of a birthday each week. Some sort of family gathering, celebration, or party. It goes steady all the way up until my birthday. Hopefully either they can come down here or I can scrounge up some change and drive up there. I do miss them so.

Biking has been going very well. Although the hills of GA are challenging, I shorten my commute each time I ride to school. I also find it refreshing to get on my bike in the early morning and ride to school. I even motivated a classmate of mine to purchase a bike as well. I won't be riding tomorrow due to the interview, but Wednesday I will be back in the saddle. I need to purchase some crotch-protecting bike shorts soon, but am unsure of what to buy. Anyone with experience, tips...please let me know what you found helpful!

Halfway there!

2008-04-18T05:45:00.005-04:00

I am almost halfway to my RN license! I am so proud and excited about my personal and professional growth throughout this year. I can't believe how much things have changed since I first started this blog -- about to move to Atlanta. It was really hard to uproot my entire life and change scenery. But I've slowly adjusted to my new life, added new friends, and really enjoy living in Atlanta.

On the school front, we're in our spring semester until the first week of May. Then I have a week off. Then I start back for three weeks for my community health class. I applied to participate in our Migrant Farmworkers Family Health project and was accepted. We then travel to South GA and provide care to their migrant farm worker population. It's a really awesome project! I'm glad I was chosen to participate. We will be in South GA for 2 weeks, then return home. After that, we have a take home final or something of the sort, then I'm finished! (Probably sometime around the end of June...) I know it sounds time-consuming, but doing it this way, I will get 4 weeks off at the end of next year's spring semester. So I think it's a fair exchange. Plus some of us may rent a condo in FL during the weekend between our two weeks in South GA. And that would be fun! Also, all of my good friends in the program are going.

My pediatric rotation has been surprisingly easier (emotionally) than I had thought. In general, I really enjoy working with children and their families. Of all of the places I have been thus far, I feel that pediatric nurses really advocate for their patients. Also, the nurses on my clinical rotation are amazingly bright and wonderful. I had a really awesome patient this week -- Spanish-speaking only -- so I really worked hard to communicate effectively with her. I even called Beloved's mother to learn a nursery rhyme in Spanish. (Beloved's entire family is Puerto Rican -- her mother has been delighted I'm learning Spanish and will answer any questions I have.) So I learned "Que Linda Manito" to sing to this little baby I had this week. It goes like this:

Que linda manito (what a cute little hand)
Que tiene el bebé (that the baby has)
Que linda, que bella (how cute, how beautiful)
Que bonita es (how pretty it is)
Pequeños deditos (small little fingers)
Rayitos de sol (little rays of sunshine)
Que gire, que gire (that go around and around)
Como un girasol (like a sunflower)

My patient really enjoyed it. Her mother was very patient with my Spanish. At then end of my shift, she asked if I was coming back tomorrow because she liked me a lot. Clinically, I did a lot of patient advocacy for this patient. Because of the difficulty communicating, there had been some miscommunication about the patients immunization status. So I was going to talk to the mom about the importance of vaccinations, but lo and behold, my patient was totally up to date on her vaccines. It was just poor communication! She also was breastfeeding and had no standard tray of food. So I had that changed immediately. A breastfeeding mom *has* to eat! Because she was unable to ask for things (again, communication) and no one offered assistance. So I helped out a lot with that as well. I showed her how to order, gave her a menu in Spanish, and hassled her until she ordered some food.

In other news, I just purchased a bicycle from a local bike shop. We get a pretty good deal from the school. If you purchase a bike, they throw in a lock, helmet, lights, and water bottle in for free. They also put it together for you. So I've been riding 9-10 miles/day back and forth from school. The weather has been beautiful (save the horrific, awful pollen) and I've been enjoying learning new appropriate "bike routes" to school. On my first trial run, I thought I would follow the main roads I would use to get to school. Very. Bad. Idea. It was awful. I like to arbitrarily decide to take an alternate street contrary to my previously outlined meticulous directions. Getting lost on a bicycle is a totally different story than getting lost in a car. So I've now found a very specific route consisting of cut-thrus, residential streets, roads for alternatively fueled vehicles (that's me, right?), and a nice path through our Lullwater Park. Overall it takes about 40-45 minutes. Not bad, eh? For the rest of the school year, I will ride about 3 times a week to/from school. After that, I expect I will ride every day during my 3 weeks of class prior to our going to South GA.

Since I was accepted into the summer class, I wasn't able to get an externship so I've been thinking a lot about money. I haven't worked -- really -- since I left VA in July. And I do need to work. As a result, I've been maniacally searching for and applying to jobs. I think I'd like to work as a tech in one of the very close hospitals. I could ride my bike and would get some additional clinical, direct patient-care experience. I'd really like to work at the children's hospital I'm at right now (just because kids are so much fun) but I heard they wouldn't be too keen to hire me because I'm not growing up to be a pediatric nurse. ((Sigh)) But the floor where I had my very very first clinical (general surgery) is hiring a new PM/weekend tech. I think I'd love to do that as well. I already know the floor, where everything is, am approved to work in that hospital (with their immunization, background screen, HIPPA, and OSHA requirements) so I asked my former clinical instructor (who still works on that floor PRN) if she'd put in a good word for me. It seems as if with these clinical jobs, you've got to know someone directly. But she did recommend me and I am to call the floor director.

And finally, Happy Birthday to my baby, Emmie Monroe! She's one year old today. Pictured above is her very first car ride with us when we brought her home. And next to it is how big she's gotten. In that picture, she's giving Graisen doxie kisses. To celebrate we're going to FL for a few days to spend some time in the sun by the pool at Beloved's parents' house. I'm excited!

Intersection of Identities

2008-03-27T11:26:00.003-04:00

During my undergraduate education in Women's Studies, we always dicussed the intersection of identities such as race, class, sexual orientation, gender, etc. Last night I went to a discussion a book signing for the new Our Bodies, Ourselves: Pregnancy and Birth book. I haven't read the new book yet but I am excited to hear feminists begin to talk about this women's health issue. We always hear about reproductive choice -- as in the choice about deciding when/how/if a woman wants to get pregnant -- but no one has been discussing the poor state of choices available to women who are pregnant. Or the sub-par care this health care system is currently delivering to most pregnant women. So last night I found myself among a group of women where several of my identities intersected -- lesbian, feminist, and aspiring midwife. Also of interesting note, the Feminist Women's Health Clinic has a donor insemination program that works with lesbian couples (and I'm sure others as well.) But I would totally love to get involved with that aspect of women's health. For me, it's inspiring to see lesbians who are starting families, etc. I never got that sort of exposure before. And since having a family is very important to me, I would like to help others also achieve that.

My first "official" day of my pediatric clinical rotation was yesterday. I think I did pretty well despite having the clinical instructor who is "known" for trying to fail people. Hopefully I will remain on her good side. I did not do too much clinically but I did spend most of my day holding a baby who doesn't get held much. Which brings up my next ethical question...what quality of life do borderline viable preemies have? I took care of an ex-25 week preemie whose prognosis is quite poor. It brings a different perspective to just seeing the little babies in the NICU or PICU. A lot of the children are ex-preemies who have severe health problems stemming from their prematurity.

It's a two post kind of day

2008-03-10T17:39:00.002-04:00

Ani DiFranco -- one of my most favorite artists ever -- had this to say about her reasoning behind giving birth at home:

"I would definitely choose a homebirth again despite the fear mongering of this patriarchal society, which convinces women that they are incapable of having babies without the intervention of men and their machines. I look at societies where women are marginalized and oppressed their whole lives (even covered head to toe in tarps!) but are still in control of birthing practice, in a whole new way now. I mean, who is really more advanced? To take birthing out of women’s hands and deny us the continuum of eons of wisdom and experience is to eject us from the very seat of our power. I believe that women in hospitals are prevented from being able to have normal, healthy birthing experiences because of the intimidation of being on the clock, being pressured to take drugs to make it quicker, being inhibited in their movement and activities, and alienated by a sterile, fluorescent lit, feet-in-the-air type environment. You know the classic 'performance anxiety' of not being able to pee or poo because somebody’s watching you? Multiply that by a million! A cervix is a sphincter after all! Then to add tragic insult to injury women are numbed through their great moment of revelation. I believe the act of giving birth to be the single most miraculous thing a human being can do and it is surely the moment when a lot of women finally understand the depth of their power and connection to all of nature. You think it can’t possibly be done, you think you can’t possibly take the pain, and then you do — and afterward you look at yourself in a whole new way. If you can do that, you can do anything. Check out the books on this subject by Ina May Gaskin. She’s one of my great heroes. P.S. I was in labor for 43 hours. Pushed for five hours. It was brutal and scary and prolonged, and if I was in a hospital, they would have definitely cut the baby out of me. I thank the goddesses that I was at home with patient midwives who knew how to go the distance. The memory of pain always recedes. The memory of triumph does not."

You can read more of her interview here.

TENS during Labor

2008-03-10T17:21:00.002-04:00

I have a TENS (transcutaneous electrical nerve stimulator) that I use for my back pain. I recently thought it would be a good addition to my doula bag. I have a ton of extra (unused) TENS electrode pads. (The company sends me new ones like once a week!) Anyways -- I wanted to be able to offer this to my doula clients but I wasn't quite sure about how/where to put the electrodes. Does anyone know? Have prior experience with a TENS unit? Know where I can find some information?

Placenta anyone?

2008-03-02T20:25:00.006-05:00

My maternity clinical rotation has officially ended. We got to examine a placenta which is really interesting. I had seen them before but never been able to get hands-on. It's a lot more sturdy than I had originally thought. Plus it's really cool to see where the baby grew, how it attached to the mom, etc.

I also realized that I've never had that much blood on my (gloved) hands before. Blood can be taboo -- indicating sickness, or disease -- but in the case of birth, (some) blood loss is normal. It somehow feels very wrong to have someone else's blood on your hands. I suppose since I will be catching babies for a living, I must get used to this new phenomenon. But not too much blood.

This week is packed full of exams before Spring Break. Tomorrow is ATI (a practice NCLEX) for maternity. Thursday is my pharmacology test. Friday is the maternity midterm. This week couldn't have come at a worse time. Today is mine & Beloved's 3 year anniversary and I'm stuck studying instead of enjoying a romantic day off with my beautiful girlfriend. It's alright though, she's fast asleep anyways.

I've committed myself to doing a birth this month so I'm not traveling during the break. It will be my first birth attended by midwives. I'm excited. I'm still processing my last doula birth. The parents were committed to a natural labor and birth. They did everything right and despite all we did...baby was born by emergency c-section. It was the first time I have seen birth just not work. Although it was disappointing that it ended in a c-section, it really did affirm to me the benefit this surgery can be when used appropriately. And please take my word that I have seen (in my short time in my maternity rotation), very unnecessary, poorly justified, almost malpractice c-sections. Contracted pelvis determined by clinical "pelvimetry" without a trial of labor. Sigh. That's another post entirely.

Another experience has really been bothering me. A classmate of mine was helping a woman who was getting ready to push. My classmate was holding her leg. The OB was quite temperamental and did not particularly like the way the classmate was holding the leg. So he swatted at the student. Repeatedly. In other words, this OB slapped the student, my classmate. Upon recounting the situation, my classmate was in tears. She has been so upset by the situation. I know it's not my battle to fight but I would think there would be greater recourse on a physician for assaulting a student but there hasn't been. I don't think it's ever acceptable for physical violence. But this situation has been continuing to bother me. I had never thought I could potentially be assaulted by a coworker and it would be shrugged off so simply. If the situation had been reversed...a student slapping/swatting an OB -- there would be hell to pay, perhaps even an expulsion. It also bothers me because it's a man hitting a woman. It was an unfortunate manifestation of an intersection of several power discrepancies.

It's a boy!

2008-02-21T11:06:00.002-05:00

I will preface this post by saying that since I was probably 18, I have had the unrelenting desire to have children. I frequently dream about being pregnant, giving birth, or breastfeeding. It's quite odd -- I don't know anyone else who has dreams like this. I have had girls, boys, twins. Well anyways, last night I dreamt I had a baby boy. And he had red hair. What's more is that I had the baby in the car. On my way to the hospital. But there is no way in hell I would have my child at the hospital, unless there was a major emergency. I've never had a dream about my fantasy birth. So it's clear that I've thought about -- if I have an ideal birth situation. It was so strange because neither I or Beloved have anything near red hair. I told her about it this morning and she jokingly said that baby wasn't hers. So what would be your ideal birth?

My test last week went well. I should have studied more but I did get an A without too much of a problem. Last week's clinical rotation was hard -- teenagers having babies! I have a little sister who will be 16 in just a couple of days. It's interesting when you're caring for someone the same age as your sibling because I relate her care to the kind of care I'd want my sister to get. However, I did get to do some really great breastfeeding teaching. My first patient actually had a doula who helped her during labor and delivery as part of an organization that targets teen mothers. It was great to see her so well-supported. This week I will be doing my mother-baby rotation which I'm looking forward to. I want to have more clinical, hands-on time with the moms and babies. There's not a whole lot we're allowed to do in labor and delivery. The breastfeeding thing just came by as a fluke and I seized the opportunity.

I'm serving as backup for a fellow student who is in the doula co-op. She's a pretty new doula and has been asking for advice. I kind of like getting asked for help because it shows me that I know more than I think I do. I loaned her my doula bag of tricks too. I will be doing another birth in March. I have decided I want to get an externship this summer. There are two that I want to apply for -- so we'll see which one I get. I desperately need to get back to the workforce. I've never been unemployed before. Anyways -- I have to get back to class to see how I did on my test I took this morning. Wish me luck.

Off to a Great Start

2008-02-10T08:45:00.000-05:00

I know I haven't updated in awhile. A lot has been on my plate as well as on my mind. I need to mull over my thoughts about a recent birth I attended as a doula. I still haven't quite made peace with that birth, but I'm working on it.

So yesterday was my first official day on labor and delivery. Although clinical started last week, I was on antepartum (high risk pregnancy) and then spent a little time in the intermediate nursery. No labor and delivery. It was kind of boring. But this week I got to be in the action. When I arrived on the floor, my clinical instructor told me they were about to have a twin vaginal birth, if I wanted to see it. I then hurried to the birth. When I got there, the doctor was telling mom that she could push if she wanted to. The first baby came out head first in about 2 pushes. A few minutes later, it looked as though her vagina had blown up a water balloon. It was the second baby's bag of waters, still intact. Inside the bag, you could see these little feet floating in the amniotic fluid. Doc broke the bag, then you saw the little feet in detail. About a push and a half later, the baby emerged. Everyone was fine. Who knew I would see a vaginal twin birth on my first day in L&D, let alone a double footling breech? My clinical instructor has never seen that. I took the birth as a sign that I'm right where I'm supposed to be.

I'm still debating on whether or not I want to get an externship this summer. I think I will get one -- just for the extra experience and the money doesn't hurt either. We'll see what ends up happening. Anyways -- I have a huge test in Patho/Pharmacology so I need to get to studying.

Updated: And so it begins

2008-01-28T08:58:00.000-05:00

So I am officially back in the swing of things with school. I haven't had my first real clinical day yet but I'm looking forward to it this weekend. I chose to have clinical all day on Saturday (7a-7p) rather than during the week. For the first half of the semester I will be doing maternity; pediatrics during the second half of the semester. While I'm excited about working with pregnant moms, I'm not sure how I feel working with sick in-patient children at the children's hospital. We rotate sites on the L&D floor and I will be doing the high-risk antepartum floor as well as the special care nursery on Saturday. So no actual labor and delivery for me on Saturday.

In preparation for clinical, we went to the School of Medicine's brand-new simulation lab. They have a woman who's in labor that talks, breathes, bleeds, etc. It was pretty interesting. The instructor can control what happens with the simulation. But this lady actually gives birth. Her cervix dilates and she pushes out the baby. It's really interesting. Since it is a model, it's not totally realistic and in her case, her labia are pretty far apart so you can just peer past them to see her cervix. A classmate of mine kept looking past the labia to see the cervix, rather than just feeling for the cervix. It was hilarious. We kept telling her she couldn't do that in clinical because she wouldn't see anything. I also learned that in this new rotation we will need to quantify post-partum bleeding by direct observation of used pads. Never thought this would be part of my patient care. Just when I think nursing can't surprise me more...

The ear infection/mastoiditis drama has cleared up mostly. I can hear out of that ear now. It's still a little tender, but I would be too if I had gone through all of that crap. It was such an interesting life experience. I've never had anything like that happen to me ever. And I do not wish to repeat it. But by far the most annoying thing to come from the entire ordeal is now when I shower, I have to gob on a huge goop of vaseline on a cotton ball and shove it in my ear. (Apparently this keeps the ear from getting wet...) It's totally disgusting and I equate it to a wet willy. Gross. It has completely made shower time less enjoyable.

My other class this semester is a LGBT & Public Health class which is cross-listed with Women's Studies. I'm excited to be able to take it and it hasn't disappointed me so far. One of our first readings for class quoted my undergrad department head (she's also my mentor -- a huge source of inspiration and encouragement!) Plus I'm just happy to be back in my element, as well as meeting people outside of the nursing school. There's one particular girl in this class who I want to know more about. She reminds me of a younger version of my twin girls' mother.

An update from EUH

2008-01-14T09:05:00.000-05:00

So, the infection in my ear turns out to be worse than originally thought. I had to come to the ER again on Saturday. They did a head CT and diagnosed mastoiditis along with a middle and external ear infection that had spread to local tissue. They admitted me for IV antibiotics that evening and I've been here since then. I'm not doing awesome, but at least they know what's going on. I'm supposed to get my ear cleaned out today at the Ear, Nose & Throat clinic. From there, they will decide what goes on. The crazy swelling still hasn't gone down much, I'm still not able to eat without great discomfort. They just changed my antibiotics so hopefully we will see some sort of improvement.

It's weird being on the other side of the patient-nurse relationship. I have an awesome nurse today. Keep me in your thoughts :)

Exactly 1 Week Left

2008-01-10T10:52:00.000-05:00

So we have only one week remaining on our winter break, then the new semester begins. I'm excited to get started on my new classes, clinicals, and skills. And Women's Studies/Public Health graduate course.

Unfortunately, the cold I had congratulated myself on not catching turned into a nasty ear infection over the past two days. I must say kids deserve credit -- this thing hurts! I can't hear anything out of my ear. My whole face is swollen -- what a great exercise to locate my swollen lymph nodes -- pre/post-auricular, occipital, posterior cervical -- all swollen. My ear is so swollen that it's sticking out more than my other ear. The pain radiates from the ear to my jaw, all along my jawline. I haven't been able to sleep at all. This morning I dragged myself to the student health, begging them to please give me an appointment because I was in such pain. They (thankfully) fit me in to the schedule and I left with Rx for antibiotics and ear drops. I also cried big fat elephant tears when he looked into my ear. As a nursing student, I'm wondering...could I have MRSA in my ear? I know it's not rational but we're around MRSA all the time. And they say it colonizes in your nose. Who knows?

Anyways...I think I'm going to try and rest.

Nipple Help!

2008-01-05T12:04:00.000-05:00

So I'm putting it out there. It has been really cold these past few days in Atlanta. We're talking low teens. I've been staying in mostly, but it's still chilly. And my nipples are chapped and sore. Nothing seems to help them. What do you suggest BF mommas? Any thoughts?

"That's why that no work"

2008-01-04T21:15:00.000-05:00

(Quote from My Big Fat Greek Wedding --- one of my all time favorites that just so happens to be on TV)

Four days into 2008 and I haven't done much of anything. I'm enjoying my time away from school. We only have thirteen (almost twelve) days left until the spring semester starts. Does it sound like I'm counting down? I'm eager to get started especially with the maternity rotation. I might also take on a birth during March so I'm excited about that as well.

I had a great visit with my family right after Christmas. I was there for just long enough that I didn't get tired of my family and they didn't get tired of me. It was humorous though that my dad hugged me like I was leaving every night. Upon reminding him that I wasn't leaving until Monday, he said he was simply making up for lost hugs. Sweet...I know. They do love and miss me. I also had a chance to be considerably social with lots of people.

Everyone liked their Christmas gifts. My parents got Beloved and I a 32" LCD flat screen television. Just in time for NCAA Women's basketball. It looks great in our apartment and has led to me watching more television than normal. Ah well. I'm not in school, so I can indulge myself a little. We also got a gift card to IKEA with which we bought a new awesome TV stand and some other useful things.

I came home on New Year's Eve. Beloved and I laid low and spent the evening at home. We went to bed early, but she set the alarm so we could watch the ball drop. I was so exhausted. I think I'm coming down (or already have) the cold/plague my little brother so kindly passed along to me. I prematurely congratulated myself on not catching his cold -- he was sniffly, coughing, congested, and feverish for most of my trip. But now I do believe I have it. Gr.

In other news, some crazy business happened yesterday. I was sitting with the dogs, enjoying my morning coffee at noon, when the smoke alarm went off. I went around looking to see if anything in the apartment was on fire. Nothing was. So I meandered outside of the apartment and saw that the central alarm for the apartment building was going off. The central alarm control on the bottom floor had been beeping some sort of warning for the past couple of days (which we told management about) so I assumed they were working on that and somehow set off the alarm. I continue to investigate and see an apartment on the top floor (opposite of my apartment) that is pouring water from the balcony, down flooding water into the apartments below. We have sprinkler systems in our apartments, so upon seeing the sprinkler on -- I'm now convinced *something* must be on fire. I rush back into my apartment, put on shoes, gather the pups, my bag/phone/car keys, and run outside. No one else has come around, management or fire department, so I'm just sort of sitting around wondering what's going on. After about 15 minutes of going off, another resident comes out to tell me the management is "testing" the alarm system. But then, all of these residents start coming out, pissed off that their apartments were flooded with water from the sprinkler system. I didn't get anything done yesterday because I was too busy worrying that if I left my dogs alone in the apartment that the idiot management would set off the alarms again and kill my dogs. I spoke with management later on and they said the incident was caused by pipes freezing. I think they're lying. Pipes bursting wouldn't cause the smoke alarm to go off. Needless to say, I heard they had flooded/ruined about 20 apartments in my building. I subsequently signed us up for renter's insurance pronto. I can't believe how quickly they could ruin almost everything you own. Is it crazy if I put my laptop in a drawer so if the sprinklers come on, the drawer will somehow protect my precious MacBook?

Another exciting thing that happened was me and a classmate went to HRC's The L Word season 5 premiere party. They aired the new episode of the season and two actors (Rachel Shelley & Rose Rollins who play Helena and Tasha, respectively) from the show were also there. I got Rachel Shelley to sign my Season 4 DVD. My classmate shook hands with both actors. Rachel Shelley is completely gorgeous, especially the British accent. Unfortunately my pictures didn't turn out really nice. Oh well. I had a good time. But I still feel weird about being out in a social, lesbian and/or gay setting without knowing anyone. We also ran into a teacher. More specifically a teacher who will be my clinical preceptor next semester. How funny is that?

Has anyone else noticed...

2007-12-22T15:34:00.000-05:00

That now to leave comments on other pages, blogger requires you to type a 6-8 letter non-word scramble?

Gr. I find this highly annoying.

Greetings from the hermit

2007-12-22T12:18:00.000-05:00

I did get over my frustration with the Christmas lights and put them up. Here's the finished product. I like it. Beloved says there are a lot of "balls" on the tree. Her family doesn't use balls. I love them. And there can never be too many, I think.

Our last day was Tuesday and I haven't left the house since Wednesday. It's wonderful not having to go anywhere. I'm a complete homebody who's content enough just lounging around with the dogs. I have slowly but surely started getting items crossed off my "To Do" list. All that's left now is to make a grocery list, clean the office, and clean the bathroom. But to be quite honest, I'm already bored. Is that terrible? I love being busy. And when I'm busy, I whine about how I never have time for anything. I think it's because I work best when there's slight pressure to get things done.

Emmie is doing much better. She's got seven staples, I counted them just in case she decided to rip one out. Her incision site looks great and she's back to her old self. She didn't like the way the incision felt when she went outside and refused to move to pee/poop. So I took a little doggy jacket that we had for Graisen and put it on her backwards, so the jacket part protects her incision from the ground, etc. Plus this way she can't lick the incision. I take the jacket off daily to examine the site -- but she likes it best on. She refuses to move and looks kind of panicked without it. Graisen has been wonderful through the whole ordeal. He knew when she came home that something wasn't quite right. He just laid with her gently and napped. I love my dogs. They are hilarious.

Anyways -- I'm looking forward to Christmas next week. I keep forgetting I'm going home which I'm really excited about. I love my family dearly and miss them all the time. The youngest is 5 (almost 6) and I feel like I'm missing out on his life. But I'm being a grownup. So there's some value in that as well. Plus I try to visit as much as possible.

I also went and visited my twin girls on Wednesday. They remembered me! After not seeing them since July, I was happy to see how big they've gotten. They're getting very long -- I think they're going to be tall. I was with them since they were 4 months old. (So, about two years...) I love those girls --- they're like my own family. I was devastated on my last day with them. But they're doing great and I'm so fortunate to be able to visit with them when they're in town.

Final Grades are In!!

2007-12-20T16:02:00.000-05:00

And as predicted...I wrapped up my first semester of nursing school with all A's.

I cannot believe it. Mebbe I'm smarter than I thought.

Cheers. I'm stringing lights on my Christmas tree.

I'm Free!

2007-12-19T10:32:00.000-05:00

Woohoo to finishing my last exam yesterday afternoon. And boo to my darling Emmie slowly recovering from her spay surgery yesterday. She looks so pitiful.

Anyways -- I thought I'd share how happy I am to be finished for this semester. And it looks like I may have walked away with all A's. (Well, at least three so far...)

The twin girls and their momma are in town for Christmas. So I'm going to visit. :)

Tagged

2007-12-15T21:39:00.000-05:00

I'm so excited to get tagged to do a meme. I've never been tagged in my whole 4 months of blogging. Plus it has given me a much-needed break from studying for finals. Thanks, Brain Scramble :)

1.) I am very particular about my note-taking system. I don't really like to take handwritten notes. I much prefer my Macbook. And so far this semester it has included an off-the-wall program that lets me use the Cornell Method of note taking, a program that draws concept maps, and a program for creating absolutely awesome flashcards. I do believe this system will bring me much success for finals.

2.) My most favorite thing to eat right now is Greek yogurt. It's rich, thick, and creamy. I put it on almost anything. Last week it was in my chili (kind of like sour cream.) I also put it in the most amazing turkey and provolone sandwich on whole wheat flatbread with sliced cucumbers and red onions. Delicious!

3.) I have two miniature dachshunds, Graisen & Emmie. We just put up our (real) Christmas tree and Emmie helped herself to a branch. Later on, she pooped said branch completely whole, with the berries on the end and leaves still attached. It was about 4-5 in long. I don't know how she does it.

4.) For a girl who's not super girly, I love me some purses. All kinds of bags. Big ones, little ones, designer bags, trendy bags, functional bags, etc. I have so many that I can rotate which bag I carry. And now that I have so much extra stuff to carry (think: stethoscope, miscellaneous nursing supplies, etc.) I really like the extra space my larger bags have.

5.) When I was a little girl, whenever my mother took me to the drug store, I would go to the lipstick section and turn the lipstick all the way so it would get smushed in the cap. I thought this was the most fun thing of all time. And she never caught me!

6.) I used to smoke. And this is a confession. Especially in nursing school when all we talk about is smoking cessation, blah blah blah. I originally quit cold turkey when Beloved and I started dating. Now I'm glad I quit before nursing school otherwise I would get hounded about quitting all the time. I feel sorry and yet envious for the smokers in my class.

7.) I love pregnant women. I really do. I love labor, pregnancy, trying to get pregnant, birth, post-partum, etc. I love the babies too. I read about pregnancy in my free time. I am such a birth-geek but it truly is my passion (and hopefully my calling.) I'm so grateful that I found what I really love doing.

And so that's a little bit about me. I know some people don't like doing these but I'm going to tag you anyways.

I pick:

Not Nurse Ratched

Minority Midwifery Student

Navelgazing Midwife

Sage Femme

Em

Battle Axe

So many drugs, so little time

2007-12-15T10:09:00.000-05:00

I should be studying the 172+ drugs I have to know for my cumulative Integrated Science final on Tuesday. I, however, need a break from learning side effects, drug classes, nursing implications, and indications for drugs. I've been studying so hard that all I dreamt about last night was drugs. Heparin, Digoxin, Nexium, Insulin, etc etc. The list goes on, I assure you.

I did find a very cool program, however, that's called iFlash which allows me to make as many "flashcards" as I'd like on my computer. I can create as many sides to one card as I'd like, so I'm no longer limited to just front/back of traditional 3x5 notecards. Also, I type a whole lot faster than I write. Furthermore, this program will allow me to upload my completed notecard database to my iPod for review! It also allows you to mark a card as "memorized" and therefore it will move it out of your rotation. I feel like such a nerd being so excited for such a simple program. I truly do learn best from flashcards.

I haven't even started reviewing objectives yet. I think I will make a database with objectives and concepts that are complicated and/or need more review. But getting all 172 drugs accurately put into the database for review is an accomplishment.

In other non-news, my final validation went well yesterday. I felt it was kind of redundant, but whatever. I do what I'm told. Monday I have my clinical final exam and my clinical evaluation with my clinical instructor. I'm not too worried about either. Tuesday is the big Integrated Science final exam. And Emmie's getting spayed that day too.

On Sunday, the baby twin girls I used to nanny will arrive in Atlanta for their Christmas break! I'm so excited. Although, I spoke with their mother yesterday and one of the twins has pneumonia (sucks.) But I'm excited to see them nevertheless. It's been since the end of July. (And I used to see these girls 3-4 times a week for the past two years!)

Alright I'm going back to studying. Gr.

Light at the end of the tunnel

2007-12-10T11:16:00.001-05:00

This semester is finally finally drawing to a close. Two cumulative finals, an evaluation, and a final clinical validation remain. I can't believe my first semester of nursing school has so quickly come to an end. I'm one semester closer to graduating.

My last week of clinicals in the hospital went well. It was voluntary but I went to the hospital anyway. Caring for patients is more exciting than anything else I do. I ended up getting two patients. Yes, two whole patients. One I had the week prior. Colon CA. But I got to discharge this patient and saw him on his merry way. The other patient reminded me of someone I love dearly, and although this patient was semi-comatose, I enjoyed caring for her the most of all my patients this entire semester. Nothing super new happened -- I helped DC a PICC line. I didn't actually get to pull it out -- as student nurses we don't do that -- but I did get to assist (read: removed sutures!) I already have my assignment for next semester. I will be doing maternity & peds rotation. And I already know who my clinical instructor is -- someone I think I will love -- a CNM who works closely with the doula co-op I'm also a part of.

I just took my last regular exam and think I did pretty well. I did excellent on my Health Assessment final check-off -- I had to do MSK/Neuro. exam. We had group presentations this morning as well. That went alright, minor technical difficulties, but hey...I can't always be perfect.

Speaking of group work...my mentor situation is awful. I know I've written about this previously, but this woman has stepped to a new level of crappy-mentorness. We had a service learning project that we did right after Thanksgiving. Crappy mentor lady had basically taken over the project and determined where/when we'd do our project. So...whatever. Everyone in the group at this point is so apathetic that we will do whatever to just get it over with. She chose a site that is 20-30 mins from school, but we all drove to, 30 minutes early as Crappy Mentor had asked us. Well, 5:30p comes and goes, no mentor. 6:00 comes and we have to get started. We do our project beautifully without Crappy Mentor. She shows up 5 mins. before our project is over (Read: 6:25p --- 1 hour late. Completely missed our project.) She lamely tried to make it up by taking a few conciliatory photos. So whatever. She's lame. She sent out a few emails to see if she could help out with our group presentation. So -- cut to today...she knows today is our presentation. All of the other mentors showed up for their groups presentations, hell, some even helped out! Did ours show up? Nope. But she did have the courtesy to send me an email, hoping that the presentation is going well. What a piece of crap. The worst part? I'm paying to have such a shitty mentor. And all of my peers have great mentors. What do I need to do to get a great mentor? Mentors can open such wonderful opportunities for you -- not to mention provide support and encouragement when needed. I'm overall disappointed in this mentor program -- and hope this woman never has students to mentor. But I'm glad our group overcame her petty crap, rose above it, and did a wonderful job. But she still gets to grade us. Gr. Although, it could have been worse, she could have been my clinical preceptor.

I'm headed to VA the day after Christmas and I'm so excited to go home (again.) I did manage to make it up there for Thanksgiving. Surprisingly, plane tickets are really not that expensive. $150 roundtrip for this trip. (Can't get much cheaper than that !) I'm still way behind on Christmas shopping. I'm not really sure what to get everyone. Beloved and I will be spending this Christmas as our first together, without our families. Last year she spent most of Christmas Eve in the airport and I was with my family without her (sad.) The year before, we went to see her family together but I wasn't with my family (sad.) So this year we're trying to compromise and create our own traditions. It's hard because although we both have been living on our own for several years now, we were very tied to our family's holiday traditions and had yet to form our own. It seems more and more like our life in Atlanta is becoming our life together.

The wiener dogs are doing fine. Emmie will be getting spayed Dec. 18th. I've finally found a vet that I will trust my little blonde girl to. Graisen also has to get his yearly shots. But slowly but surely, we're wrapping up 2007 on a happy note. Alright, I'm off to the test review.

It's been awhile

2007-11-10T08:33:00.000-05:00

I have been lost in the world of nursing school. We've been really busy with tests, lectures, and clinicals. Last week was by far my most challenging clinical yet. My clinical instructor paired me up with another student. I'm a very independent student and generally prefer to do things my way and alone. However, with this particular patient, I was glad to have the extra help. My patient was dying and was in the most terrible condition I have ever seen. Covered in purple-red bruises, paper-thin jaundiced skin that would break and bleed, so swollen that it was weeping. Unable to hear, speak, or see with wounds -- skin tears and pressure ulcers -- everywhere. Multiple organ failure. Trach tube. And the list goes on and on. From a learning standpoint, this patient had several issues that I had just learned about. But from a practical standpoint, this person was dying and suffering and nothing I did alleviated that suffering. That was hard for me. I wasn't on top of my game like I usually am. I was paralyzed by this patient, forgetting everything I had prepared. Without my partner, nothing would have gotten done that day at all. It hurt me to look at this patient. And if it hurt me just to look, can you imagine how hard it must be for that person who is actually living that situation? The worst part of the whole situation is that this patient was alone -- no family was there. If anything can make you contemplate advance directives, a patient like this certainly would. I was sort of relieved to hear after I left that day, my patient was transferred to the ICU.

But this week's patient was much better. A patient who in the past has been in pretty critical condition is getting better :) This patient has been there for a long time and just since we started working on the floor, you can see great improvements. I was happy to have someone improving who I could actually help. This patient laughed with me and helped me decide that I'm going to be the kind of nurse who's serious when appropriate, but funny too. I almost dropped the bedside remote/call button on the patient's head (someone had tucked it in with the BP cuff and it fell when I tugged the cuff out.) Then later, I was doing an Accuchek and the finger-prick broke, so I had to call for another one -- Pt was on contact precautions -- then the strip I had didn't work, and yet again, call for another strip. All the while trying to keep the finger I pricked from clotting up before the new strip came! Patient meanwhile thought the entire fiasco was hilarious. I did manage to get enough blood for the test to work. Patient said I will make a great nurse. This particular patient has been seen by all of the students in my group but I gave the best SQ shot. :)

I had a good friend come in from DC to see the Va Tech v. Georgia Tech game. It was a pretty fun weekend. I managed to go to the game, prepare for clinical, have the worst clinical day ever, get up the next morning to eat breakfast with Beloved, took them to the Decatur Wine Festival (yum!), go out to dinner, and study for my big exam that I took on Tuesday. (Pharm/pathophys. exam which I aced!)

I was kind of miffed that study group arose from the people I routinely hang out with. I was not invited to join the group, however, for unknown reasons. It kind of made me mad -- I'm still sort of miffed. I'm not used to being in a group of people and having other students think I'm not-that-smart. All of my friend, fellow classmates from VA, know and would classify me as a smart girl. But these new people haven't really given me any credit. So said study group prepared for the test, I studied alone, but I think I did better than them -- I think most got B's. I was slightly amused by this fact but still want them to recognize that I'm smart too! I guess it's kind of juvenile, but we'll see.

Speaking of school, we've been registering for next semester's classes. I got permission to take a GLBTQ and Public Health graduate-level course that's cross listed with Women's Studies. I'm so excited about the course -- it sounds awesome! Then I think I will be taking the Spanish for Healthcare Providers as well. Hopefully, they will give me credit for the research class I took during my undergrad so I can waive that course next semester. But we'll see. I'm not sure if they're going to want to count it because it was a "feminist" research methods course -- but, feminist or not, it was still research. But I'm taking the Peds/Maternity clinical rotation so I will be doing mommas & babies :) (Finally!)

Anyways -- I've got a conference to go to that starts at 10:00. So I need to get ready :) Hopefully I will post more later on this weekend.

Time flies

2007-10-27T09:56:00.000-04:00

I can't believe it's the weekend again. My week has been so busy that I wonder where time went. I'm getting into a groove at school and in the hospital, so I'm not feeling overwhelmed at all. This week's clinical went very smoothly. My patient was pretty straightforward and getting discharged. I got to D/C a Foley and an INT. That was the highlight of my morning. Then we did flu shots in the hospital. We had a little cart and peddled flu shots to employees. Our small group of 6 did almost 50 flu shots! I got to give 8 or 9 (I lost count) IM shots. And nothing too terribly bad happened.

So the dreaded breast examination class wasn't bad at all. I think I'm getting more and more used to touching other people and having them touch me. Although I did my exam still wearing my bra, other students went totally topless (if they wanted to.) I'm not sure I could do that with people I'm not comfortable with. I don't have any of my regular friends in this class with me. The lab suddenly becomes a new form of picking teams for dodgeball because we have to pick partners before each exam. And people are summing you up -- you never want to be the last person without a partner. I told my lab instructor that this lab was like being back in high school, to which she replied "Oh yeah? So you got felt up a lot in high school?" HAHA. I was like, "No, I meant getting felt up with someone who has no idea what they're doing." I love my lab instructor. She's great. I (somehow) managed to have her for both my clinical and health assessment labs. She has taught us so much - I feel like our group is way ahead of the learning curve. Plus she has a very dry sense of humor that cracks me up.

The schedule for next semester has come out already. Hopefully I'll be in maternity/peds rotation. I signed up for (potentially) a Saturday clinical. All of our clinicals are now 12 hrs, either 2 6-hr shifts or 1 12-hr shift. The faculty adviser for the co-op teaches the maternity class. Also, I went to a presentation about maternal mortality in Bangladesh. It was pretty awesome. Emory has a center for research on maternal and fetal outcomes which has opened up fairly recently. The director of the program also spoke at the presentation and I really need to get to know this woman. The focus of her research is on traditional birth attendants. She seems to be right up my alley. The doctoral candidate who gave the presentation does a lot of work with EISNA and HealthStat (two organizations I do work with.)

Switching gears, I was in a car accident about a year ago. Some idiot rear-ended me on the interstate, going between 30-40 mph. My car and I both survived. But since starting clinicals, my neck has been *killing* me. And I really do not have the time to sit at home with a pain in my neck. Pain meds don't really help it at all. So I caved in and went to the doctor at EUSHS. (As part of tuition, we can see student health for free.) She referred me to the spine center citing that she wasn't sure if my neck had been properly diagnosed and addressed when I got into my accident. I will most likely make an appointment sometime next week. We've got a hellacious week coming up -- two exams (health assessment & pathophys/pharmacology), a friend from VA is coming for the weekend, and a football game (GaTech v. VaTech -- can you guess who I'm rooting for?)

I'm getting more and more excited as it gets closer to Thanksgiving. I miss my family something fierce. And my friends. I think it will be weird to be home, but very nice. I'm leaving Beloved and the pups for a few days, but they will be okay. I promised her to do a pre-Thanksgiving dinner with her before I leave because she has to work on the actual day. Her family isn't too big on Thanksgiving like mine.

The pups are doing well. Beloved and I bought them some chewies a night ago, they managed to find the bag, and tear into all the delicious dog chews while I was at school yesterday. I'm still trying to find an awesome vet for Emmie's spay surgery. I'm so picky about them. If I don't like a place over-the-phone, I'm not going to take my dogs there. They're like my children. So, anyone got good vet recommendations? I'm down to the wire and I don't want her to go into heat. We have white carpet.

Frustration

2007-10-22T09:20:00.000-04:00

I'm sure many a nursing student has felt. I'm spoiled because I had such a wonderful mentor/advisor during my undergraduate studies. She was amazing -- always had me in mind and kept me informed about many things. She was so good in fact that I still email her at least once a month to update her, gain insight and encouragement. My current "mentor" is not even on the same planet as me. And I'm not meaning that in a harsh way, but she doesn't seem to really care about anything that matters to me. Moreover she acts as if this mentor gig is a hassle to her. Moreover, I went to another professor who is a CNM and sat down with her. She's awesome. She and I spent at least an hour or so talking about various things that actually will apply to my future career. She even recommended Robbie Davis-Floyd to me. I love Robbie Davis-Floyd already. But, since this professor is new, she's not allowed to have advisees this year. ((sigh)) She's much better than my assigned mentor. Wouldn't you think that they would give students a mentor based on their interests? Or maybe their career track? I think they (they being the administration) just did eenie-meanie-miney-moe which I feel is a stupid way to assign mentors to people.

On to another topic: clinical. On Friday I had my first real patient that I was in charge of taking care of. I did very well. I was proud of myself. Suddenly it feels like all of this stuff I've been learning for the past three months is being put to good use. I'm actually remembering/utilizing the knowledge that I've gotten. Plus it's really different to put a face/personality to the imaginary "patient" we talk about. I can really see how to apply the skills that I'm learning to an actual person. The hardest part about clinicals was locating the things that we needed. For example, the Accuchek ran out of strips, but I had to find the bottle which didn't have the appropriate "chip" so I had to find another one. Or managing your time because you have X amount of tasks to do in X amount of time. I think this week I will need to be better organized, time-wise. But I did see a lot of really awesome stuff. We're on an abdominal surgical floor -- so I saw some pretty interesting wounds -- fistulas, etc. The wound care nurses let us help change some dressings. I got a little woozy. I may not be as badass as I originally thought.

Start clinicals off with a bang

2007-10-13T10:12:00.000-04:00

Despite my prior forecast that this week would be uneventful, it has turned out to be quite the opposite. School was pretty straightforward. We had two classes and one clinical. Wednesday I was on call for the co-op and didn't get called. But another doula asked if I could serve as her back up for a client who was being induced (the other doula had to go out of town.) My Thursday wasn't too full, so I agreed. I got to the hospital around 5p --- she delivered a healthy baby boy around 7:15a on Friday morning. I stayed the entire time in true doula fashion. But, I had to be at my clinical site at 9:00a. So I rushed home, changed, ate something quickly, and went to clinical. I was barely there on time but it was worth it. Who else could say they started off their clinicals with a beautiful birth?

The birth was pretty normal. I think that going to these births will allow me to introduce my face and name to the residents, doctors, etc. who practice all around. And they can be important allies (as well as formidable foes.) Last night's doctors were not the case. We were at Big Teaching Hospital, so mom had a head of dept, resident, and intern.

(On a side note, although I will never repeat this...I was totally hot for the OB resident. Hello -- she was the hottest doc I have ever seen. It almost made the 14 hr birth even more exciting because she was there the.entire.time!!)

Back to the birth, docs were very liberal (more liberal than what I saw in VA) for pushing. Mom pushed side-lying, squatting, pulling a towel, etc. all at the suggestion of the doc. I was fairly surprised because #1 I've never been at a birth where the doc hasn't "stepped in" at the very last moment to "catch" the baby #2 I've never been at a birth where the doctor was so liberal in pushing positions...mom was given options and choices, the docs moved around to accommodate mom and how she pushed best (of course, the way it *should* be!) Doc was there pretty much the entire time.

And even though I love being at births despite where they occur, every hospital birth I go to just reaffirms my desire to never ever have children in a hospital. Ever.

Which brings me to a new topic. There are no birth centers in the Atlanta metro area. None. Not even one. Even in VA, there was a birth center! So I want to get involved in starting one. Another (almost graduated) nurse-midwifery student was telling me that she wants to start a center because there's a growing need for it. I'd totally like to either join her (if she was serious) or start my own upon graduation.

Last night I went to the LGBT graduate student alliance house party. I met a few interesting people -- only 1 from my school. Apparently, there's a lot of queers in public health, law, and medicine but not nursing. *sigh* So I'm going to be a lot more active in their group. Hopefully we can do some good and create more queer visibility at the university.

My big toe is alright. It's not doing too well since I was on my feet for almost 2 days straight. I think I may lose the toenail cause it's starting to turn black. Gross. I've never lost a toenail before.

Clinicals went well. We're on an abdominal post-surgical floor so lots of interesting things to see. In spite of being exhausted, I was very on top of things. Rattling off names of medications, their indications, answering the instructor's questions, etc. So I am a smarty pants. The one in the group that everyone hates because I almost always know the answer.

Speaking of smarty pants, I got my Pharm test grade back -- not a solid B as I had predicted, but an A! :) So that's two A's so far. I'm 2 for 2. We have our first clinical exam on Monday which I really need to get to work on. Plus there's lots of readings for assessment. We're doing head, eyes, ears, neck, and throat on Monday & Wednesday. Not to mention getting our first real patient on Friday. I can't believe school is flying by so fast.

Mini-vacation recap

2007-10-10T11:26:00.000-04:00

Beloved and I just got back from FL in the wee hours this morning (around 2 am.) We managed get everything done except for taking the pups to the beach. Instead we treated them to an afternoon of luxury by the side of a pool. They loved it anyways. Here's a picture of the pups in Beloved's car. She got a new car so this was our last road trip in her old car. The trip went well except for my toe injury.

We were at the tourist spot picking up a new Vera Bradley bag for me and souvenirs for our friends. I went into a little shop to look at wind chimes. There was a shelf that was simply made out of 2x4s but at the ends it was not sanded. I sort of stubbed my toe on the corner and had this shooting pain. I looked down and saw a one inch splinter in my big toe, jammed under my toenail, deep in the nail bed, all the way to the cuticle. I have never felt such pain. I hobbled out of the store, sat down on a bench, and called Beloved in tears. She thought something bad (like a death) had happened, so she ran over to where I was and was like, "Oh...it's just a splinter!" It hurt so badly and was deep in my toe so I didn't want to pull it out on the spot. I hobbled back to the car, cursing the whole way, and we drove to Beloved's aunt's house. She performed surgery and removed the huge ass splinter. And while it felt much better not to have the splinter in my foot, my toe now looks like this.

So I hope it gets better soon because it feels bad to be on my feet. Nurses are always on the their feet.

To answer some questions on the blog, yes, I did check out the doula co-op organization. I am a member and they didn't mind that I had done my workshop through DONA instead of CAPPA. They just needed willing hands to help out. I'm actually on-call for today for the co-op. I may get called for a birth, but we'll see. A good friend of mine in my class took the CAPPA workshop and will go with me if there's a birth today. Also, a fellow member called to see if I could attend the birth of one of her client's because she will be out of town for a conference. So I will more than likely be doing a birth tomorrow. (Yay!)

The twins are here in Atlanta, but I have been so busy that I haven't been able to see them yet. I do promise that I will get to see the babies before they leave on Sunday. Anyways -- I have Pharmacology in an hour so I need to get ready. I will post more later on this week -- Friday is our first day in the hospital!! :)

You can tell it's fall break when...

2007-10-07T11:39:00.000-04:00

I spent most of yesterday shampooing my carpets. Apparently, we're entering hormonal phase for Emmie. She has thus proceeded scent marking. (I thought we weren't supposed to go through this *again* because she's a female? Alas, I was wrong...) So for the better part of last week I have remained annoyed at the smell of pee. Yesterday I had had enough and went out and purchased a Hoover All Terrain SteamVac. I shampooed the entire living room and hallway. It smells much better and doesn't look half bad. I think next I will try steam-cleaning my furniture.

After steam-cleaning the living room, I decided I didn't like the way the furniture was arranged. So 1 hour and 25 different configurations later, it was to my liking. But then I decided our living room looks quite sparse. We had moved an overstuffed armchair from the living room into the office. So now our living room just has a love seat, chaise, and small TV on a stand. I have decided that we need to make slipcovers for the living room furniture, purchase an area rug, some curtains, lamps, side tables and perhaps a bookshelf. I love the way our office looks. It's quite cozy and functional. It's funny that once we moved in here, it appears as if we have nothing because our last apartment was so small.

Tonight once Beloved gets home from work, we're headed out to FL via a 6 hour car ride with two dogs. I suppose it will be alright, but I will be driving most of the way because she worked all day. We're going to FL for a visit with some of her family and to pick up her new car. I'm pretty excited to get out of Atlanta and see people we know and love. I'm also excited because Beloved's father makes the best breakfast I have ever had. Plus we could probably take the pups to the beach, visit Beloved's aunt, and get some crucial shopping done at the outlets. Now -- we'll be amazed if we can cram all of that into a 2-day visit.

I have a lot of reading that I'm hoping to catch up on over this break. Although next week we only have three (yes, just THREE!!) classes, we have our first Clinical nursing exam the following Monday. Clinical nursing is our 7 credit hour course, so as you can imagine, it will be a lot of material. It's material not only covered in lecture, but clinical lab material too.

Also on the school front, horrible student teacher may be taking over our clinical lab class starting next week. Once we're in clincals, our instructor who has been teaching us since the start of school will be in the hospital on our lab day. So we get a new instructor that could be:

a.) Pregnant (awesome) clinical coordinator
b.) Lab coordinator who reminds me of Beloved's mother (again, awesome)
c.) Crappy student teacher with poor math skills
d.) Emergency NP peppy student teacher

So I guess odds are in my favor. I have a 25% chance of getting someone I don't like and a 75% chance of getting someone I do like. And although we would only be spending one day with this person, it still has the potential to ruin my Thursdays. I feel pretty lucky so far as to have met several instructors and only dislike two.

Speaking of the Awful One who comes into Health Assessment. You will never believe what she did. So in addition to her being a guest lecturer, she also serves as an instructor in assessment lab. A fellow classmate (who is not the skinniest girl) has the Awful One for her lab assessment class. And the Awful One directly asked my classmate, upon seeing her abdomen (because we were doing abdominal assessment), if she was pregnant! She also chastised another student about her general appearance statement about her partner. She said, You need to tell it like it is. He's a white obese male. (Said white "obese" male was standing right there, and said comment was in front of the entire class -- like 15+ of said "obese" male's classmates and future colleagues.) Any thoughts on how to stop the Awful One my dear friends?

My actual injection administration went very well. After being quite calm and collected, I became slightly nervous right before my parter was going to give me the IM injection. After that one was over, I wasn't worried at all. Except the subQ abdominal shot hurt! Well, at least now I can say that I've given injections and not killed anyone.

Anyways -- I should get to packing/cleaning/getting ready for our mini-vacation. Woohoo to time spent with my little family. :)

Weekly roundup

2007-10-05T08:51:00.000-04:00

So my signing ceremony went well (see picture: me signing the book.) For those of you who asked, I will explain what the ceremony was. Basically, back in "the day" when nurses wore caps, they would have a capping ceremony where the nursing students would be capped (see picture.) Each school has their own cap, with a certain number of pleats which stood for qualities such as integrity and honor. Nowadays, however, nurses no longer wear caps, so my school has adopted a signing ceremony for nursing students in lieu of the capping ceremony. We just signed our name to a ledger to affirm our professional values. Several key people spoke, including the dean, and it was followed by a formal tea complete with a punchbowl rumored to be insured for half a million dollars. (WTF...I'm definitely in the south! I've never been to a "ladies tea.")

I did well enough on my Pharmacology/Pathophys. exam -- a solid B. I'm pleased with myself. It was a lot of information to cover. I passed my check-off for medication administration yesterday. I was incredibly annoyed because our clinical instructor had a student teacher with her. This was the first time this other person had been in our lab class. And what does she do? She proceeds to ask questions/do things that we're not being tested on. I'm a fairly well-prepared student and find it nerve-wracking that this woman grilled me and she couldn't even accurately do a *simple* medication calculation. She argued with my partner for 20+ mins about a calculation in which my partner was right and the student teacher was wrong. Wouldn't you think if it's your first day, you'd just shut up and observe, especially if the students are getting checked off?!

Today I have check-off for injections. We have to give our partner three shots -- ID, SQ, and IM. I'm not too worried about that. Although I am mildly irritated that they scheduled our nursing immunization clinic before this check off. So now I have to go before my class to get *real* injections -- Hep B & another PPD. Then I get the shots for validation. Ah well. Practice makes perfect I guess.

In other school-related news, I'm not sure what to do about this guest lecturer who frequents our Health Assessment class. She's absolutely terrible! Her first lecture, about CVS, she did nothing related to the objectives. She talked about absolutely nothing for over 2 hours. This was two days before we were to be tested on this material too! Her next lecture, abdominal assessment, she followed objectives a little better. But she asked the students questions, reprimanded us for "incorrect" answers -- by incorrect, I mean answers she didn't really like, but they were listed within the text. And spent way too much time talking about abnormal conditions which at this point we're not expected to recognize, and little to no time on normal condition of the abdominal assessment. And finally, she flipped out when students began packing up their stuff at 2:55p --- five minutes AFTER class was supposed to get out. She then said...It's only 2:55p, did I tell you that it's okay to pack up? You're staying until 3:00p. WTF. Are we back in high school? I gave her a terrible review, but I am going to shoot myself in the foot if I have to see this woman again.

On the social network, I'm slowly but surely making friends at school. No gay ones as of yet. That might change soon, I got invited to a GLBT graduate student party that's next Friday. (According to my classmates, I'm the token lesbian.) But our little group consists of BSN/MSN segue students. It just sort of happened that way. Beloved and I are going to FL for my fall break which is this upcoming Mon-Tues. Next Wednesday, the twins and their mom arrive in Atlanta -- so I will get to see them! I haven't seen them since July! And most importantly, Friday is my first clinical at the hospital -- 7a-1p. I hear next semester our clinical hours switch to 12 hr shifts. Oh the joys of nursing school.

What stress does to me

2007-10-02T10:22:00.000-04:00

I think I'm the weirdest person ever. Exams have such a strange effect on my life. Most recently, I've been unable to sleep well. A few nights ago, I woke up frequently because I was dreaming about my Pharmacology exam. Every time I was asked a question, I'd wake up and say, "I'm not ready for my exam yet!" Even more disturbing was my dream last night. I dreamt I had slept with an old boyfriend from high school. As a result, I had gotten pregnant. But Beloved and I were still together. She apparently was alright with me sleeping with this boy. I guess the point of sleeping with him was *to* get pregnant? I don't know. It was never clearly spelled out. I kept convincing Beloved that I was pregnant. And the dream basically ended with me getting a positive pregnancy test.

Another weird side effect of being under stress, especially school work, is a really vamped up sex drive. I don't know why it happens, perhaps a way to burn off some extra steam? I can say that I have had some of the best times of my sex life during stressful school times, such as exam week. Having said all of that, I feel I'm prepared for my first Pharmacology exam today. I got back my Health Assessment exam and I got an A. I'm feeling somewhat more qualified to be in this rigorous program.

In other news, Emmie has suddenly gotten filled with hormones. She's been humping Graisen all weekend. So the time has come to get her spayed. I always hate taking them to have surgery. I'm such a sucker for my dogs. I called a couple of places to see what their protocol is for spaying. Graisen has to get a booster Rabies shot too sometime soon.

And finally, we have a signing ceremony tomorrow. Beloved will be attending to support me. I'm kind of interested to see how my classmates will react to her -- I've slowly come out as needed, but it's always different when people actually *meet* your significant other.

I have a headache. Wish me luck on my exam & validations on Thursday and Friday! :)

Really excited

2007-09-29T10:03:00.001-04:00

I just bought tickets to see Ani Difranco play in Atlanta on November 13th!! I haven't seen her play since 2003!

This is a definite perk to living in a major city.

Less lame

2007-09-28T09:22:00.000-04:00

I have been trying to be more social this past week. I went to a panel discussion at the Feminist Women's Health Center. The topic was being gay or lesbian in the Latino community. Although, I myself am not Latina, Beloved is Puerto Rican. So I thought it would be an insightful panel, as well as a way for me to introduce myself to the center. And let me say...I had so much fun. I really felt like this was the first time since I've been in GA, that I felt completely at home with a group of people instantly. I was among fellow Women's Studies students, lesbians, and feminists. It was a wonderful time. One of the ladies there also comes to speak to a nursing class about reproductive issues (so I suppose I can look forward to that in 2 years?) There's an art opening tonight that we were also invited to attend. I'm pretty sure we're going to make it out -- just not sure when.

School has been kicking my ass this week. I'm behind in my reading (as usual) but I think I will try to make it up this weekend. We have a Pharm/Pathophys. test on Tuesday. We have about 50+ drugs to know for that exam (antihypertensives, drugs of the ANS, antidysrhythmics, etc.) *sigh* I'm pretty sure I will do well on it. There will be lots of studying taking place this weekend. After we get through next week, though, it will be Fall Break! And while I'm excited for the (brief) break from school, when we come back from break our *real* clinicals start. Yay for having to report to the hospital at 6:45a. I don't think that first week we'll get patients. We're just helping dole out flu shots to doctors, nurses, and staff.

On a side note, people that drive here can be complete assholes. Last night on my way to the panel, I was driving down my destination road. Unfortunately, my GPS was having a bit of schizophrenia and kept misdirecting me. So I missed the turn for the center. No problem, I thought, I will just make a U-turn. I come to the end of the street where I have only one option...turn right -- it's an on-ramp for the highway! I have definitely not navigated the highways here yet and I wasn't about to start now. So I'm sitting there, trying to figure out if I'm going to make the right turn, or make a semi-illegal U-turn onto the wrong way of an on-ramp to turn around. My decision making was clouded by some complete asshole behind me who literally laid on his horn and shrieked at me to get out of the way. Clearly my license plate is from out-of-state, and clearly I'm trying to make a decision here. If he was in such a fucking hurry -- he could have easily gone around me. But no, he decided it would be helpful to simply honk his horn and scream at me. So finally, I decided to make the U-turn, let the asshole go on his merry way and I pulled in safely to the center. But who the hell ends roads in on-ramps to the interstate? This is a completely foreign concept to me. I was so frazzled by the incident, I had to call Beloved. She just laughed -- she's from NY so assholes here really don't bother her.

Anyways -- I must be off. I have an altered schedule today because there's some discussion with alumni from SON and our class. So we have to go to this presentation thing, then they bought us lunch. I dunno -- it just means I have to go to school an hour early and go to lab an hour later. I can't wait for the weekend to be here.

Quick update

2007-09-25T09:59:00.000-04:00

So the first test of my nursing school career went fairly well. It was mostly straightforward and I think I will get a high B/low A. Not bad. I got to school a little early today so I decided to update a little bit.

Last night was my first exposure to the political climate in GA. There's a public hospital that's on the verge of shutting down mainly due to lack of funding. This hospital is a teaching hospital and has ties with two prestigious medical schools here. Unfortunately, there's a lot of discussion about this hospital because it serves a majority of uninsured and under-insured patients who would be displaced should the hospital close its doors. The "solution" which has been proposed is a restructuring of the hospital which will allow private corporations and philanthropists to support the hospital. But there is a severe mistrust of the "restructuring" process and many think it will end this hospital primarily serving the uninsured/under-insured.

So last night I attended a panel discussion on the hospital's future. There was so much hostility -- it was palpable. The state representative (Republican -- ::vomits::) was awful. She absolutely tried to make the problem one of immigration reform, not about the growing population of uninsured Americans. She intimated that people chose to be uninsured because they thought they were invincible and didn't need coverage. WTF!? Is this woman living in the same country as us? People don't have insurance because it's fucking expensive. Outrageously expensive. I barely had insurance and know many who would *love* to have insurance but coverage is well beyond their means. This problem of this hospital is not an isolated problem, but a larger problem of health care.

Any thoughts?

Lame

2007-09-22T10:34:00.000-04:00

I have been feeling down on myself this week. I realize with all that has been going on with school, I feel I just need a break to do something really fun. And this would be the time I would call my girls to go out for drinks and dancing with me. But my girls are in VA. So instead I'm stuck at home, wishing I could go out. I'm a true Leo, so I don't really like being solitary. But I'm not quite comfortable yet with the area to simply find a lesbian bar and go have a beer. Beloved would totally have a beer with me, but we're on completely opposite schedules. She has days off when I'm in school -- I have days off from school when she's working. And I know how hard she's working, so I hate to selfishly ask her to go out when I know she's tired. And then my classmates...I see them all week, I'm sure they'd like to get a beer too, but I *think* none of them are gay (well, maybe one is...) or would feel comfortable going to a gay bar. I loathe straight bars. Going out isn't complete without at least one drag queen.

So what am I to do? I haven't felt this sort of loneliness since the awkward years of high school. Even then I had friends.

In other news, school is going well. I have to re-take my medication administration quiz in order to go to clinicals. We have to get a 100% on it. I missed 2 questions the first go-round. It's not that the math is difficult (because it really is simple) but the program where we have to enter our answers is very specific. Ie. your answer is wrong if you wrote "tablet" instead of "tablets." So blah -- I think I will try again this afternoon. We had our first validation on Thursday. I did my VS correctly. My partner was a "patient" who had just had a LLE (lower left extremity) surgery, so I had to insure I checked peripheral pulses and he was on CBR (complete bed rest) so his VS were taken lying down. I played a "patient" who had DOE (dyspnea on exertion) and a cough. Fun times. We actually *do* our validations in practice exam rooms.

Yesterday we did medication administration -- IM, ID, SQ, and PO. So meds by mouth or different forms of injections. We didn't practice on each other -- we had this "slab" which is meant to mimic human flesh. One of the girls in our class faints every time she gets a shot or has her blood drawn. I was pretty good. Needles still kind of freak me out -- especially 5 other people who are inexperienced with needles running (not literally) around with them. I did not get a needle-stick - thank goddess! Someone else did from (just like our text says) recapping needles. Our needles were kind of older and crappy. The insulin syringes weren't fitted correctly so they kept drawing up air. And then the insulin syringe is the one that broke through the cap and stuck my classmate. Luckily it wasn't dirty. Next week we learn how to start IVs. Apparently the first week of clinicals we practice our IM injections because we help out with the flu shot drive in the hospital. We'll be administering flu shots to doctors, nurses, etc etc. I'm excited about it. Learning how to do things is really interesting to me. I feel like I'm getting somewhere!

In other news, we had our first topless moment in Health Assessment on Wednesday. We were doing cardiovascular and pulmonary exams. So we had to disrobe, wear a gown, and have our partners do complete system exams. Inspection, palpation, percussion, and auscultation. It wasn't that bad. They tried to make our little rooms more private and I was wearing a bra after all. No big deal. My partner was pretty cool. The hardest part was writing up our SOAPs in like 30 minutes. Complete health assessments are due on Wednesday of next week. I still have to finish mine.

Coming up next week is our first Health Assessment test (Monday) -- lame. I really need to get to work studying for it. We're also moving right along in Integrated Science (Pathophys + Pharmacology.) Pretty soon we'll be seeing real patients in the hospital. I hope I don't kill anyone.

Notes on self-care

2007-09-14T09:38:00.000-04:00

I really love how professors will send out an email that reads something like this:

"Please read Chapters 4, 6, 9, Chapter 10 pp 175-177 and 189-201, Chapter 12 pp 221-266, and Chapter 18. Also, take the two quizzes by midnight today. Read chapters 19, 20, and 21 and take the quiz on Sunday. And do something for yourself too."

Ah yes, in between drowning in reading, studying, assignments, reviewing, and actually attending class, perhaps I may do something for myself. I think showering, sleeping, perhaps eating a meal would be wonderful.

Don't touch the models

2007-09-13T16:35:00.000-04:00

Alright, so in our Clinical lab classes, we mostly practice our newly acquired skills on each other. (see post below) Today was no different. We were learning about body mechanics, patient positioning, etc. In our lab we do have life-size models who are anatomically correct for us to practice doing foley catheters, IVs, rectal exams, etc. One such life sized model was occupying a bed we needed to use for our demonstration. This model was essentially a male body, but instead of a penis, there was a vagina. A pretty well defined, realistic looking vagina, urethra, and anus.

All of the classmates gathered around the model as we moved it -- we haven't done anything with the models yet, so we were all interested in seeing it. Well, the genitalia was the first topic of discussion. It appeared as if you could simply remove the vagina and put a penis there. I then proceeded to pull the vagina off the model, then put it back on the model. As I did so, a stream of yellow "urine" squirted out from the model onto my hand! I shrieked, "It peed on me!" And my entire class erupted in laughter (including me.) I was so surprised that I turned beet red and laughed so hard I cried. It was the funniest thing that's happened since school started.

A whole new world

2007-09-13T09:06:00.000-04:00

So as I am in week #2 of nursing school, I have come to realize that I have immersed myself in a new world. It's a different way of thinking than I'm used to. We're encouraged to assimilate, dress the same, perform the same way, etc. Dissent is frowned upon as is questioning. We're being indoctrinated into a hierarchal organization and learning "our place" is an integral part of the curriculum. We're being taught a new language, how to communicate within this new system, and how to form new professional relationships. Coming from a liberal arts background, I am quite used to asking "why" and asking how things may affect a variety of people.

For example, as a nursing student, we're expected to be the "patient" in our lab classes. We're expected to disrobe, wear a gown, and allow a classmate to practice on us. In any other discipline, this would be pretty outrageous. Requiring an art student to model for class, nude or semi-nude, isn't common. They hire models. I know they have "practice patients" for medical and nursing students. My main issue with this expectation was that it is assumed that *all* students will be comfortable with being this patient. It was never discussed in any of our classes, orientation, etc. And here comes my liberal arts line of questioning...

1. What if you have a history of domestic violence, sexual abuse, or rape? You would have to divulge these details in objection to participating in this way. And you would most certainly stand out among your classmates who'd inevitably wonder why you wouldn't participate.

2. What if you have body image issues, past history of eating disorders? Being weighed weekly, complete with a BMI calculation and a recommendation for weight loss, could wreak havoc on what self-esteem you have.

Since there was absolutely no discussion regarding opting out if you felt uncomfortable, it seems as if the program doesn't consider the feelings of individuals who may have these issues or others like it. And this general quit-your-whining and just-do-it mentality is not something I'm used to. And since we're pressured to assimilate, no one speaks of these feelings. I'm sure I'm not the only student whose had these feelings or issues. But others aren't going to express anything to buck the system - so-to-speak. So it's a matter of processing these new feelings and asking if others may feel the same way.

My friend from California is feels similarly to myself. We're both confused at how easily our new group of classmates just do everything without questioning. Perhaps that's what my liberal arts education taught me...question everything, especially when it requires you to be semi-undresses among your classmates. It brings a whole new meaning to going to school naked.

My nursing friends, any thoughts?

Things I'm excited about

2007-09-05T10:04:00.001-04:00

1. My instructor who introduced "evidence-based medicine" with the example of administering IV fluids during labor. She stated it did not improve the mother or child's outcome. (She's also a CNM.) She indicated evidence-based medicine is the best, not relying on tradition or protocol.

2. Atlanta Doula Co-op. A volunteer organization which provides doula services in the Atlanta-metro area. Most of these doulas are nurse-midwifery students. Their informational meeting is this afternoon. Although, they're CAPPA certified...I'm DONA certified --- I hope this won't be a problem. A doula is a doula, right?

3. Feminist Health Center. They have a clinical internship aimed at medical and nursing students. This organization sounds really wonderful. According to my adviser at my alma mater, very few of these centers still exist. I've already emailed them to see what I can do to help out.

4. The weekend. I am swamped with homework, reading, assignments, etc. already. I need to catch up.

First official day of school

2007-09-03T17:31:00.000-04:00

Last Friday was my first day of school. I think they're easing us into a routine because it was only one class. All we really did was learn our way around the lab, wash our hands, and reviewed a syllabus. I think I'm really going to like this school. It seems like a good fit for me. There are a couple doulas in my program as well.

I was mildly irritated when I told my "mentor" group that I was a doula, my mentor was like, "A what?!" She's a cardiac nurse...so I'm sure my birth opinions don't really interest her. But I did meet one of the coolest girls I've met in a long time. I didn't really pay attention to her until I realized she had the *entire* female reproductive system as a "logo" on her hoodie. Awesome :) She told me she used to volunteer for a free clinic. She's going for a public health nursing degree but is in the same "program" as myself. Another woman who introduced herself to me is working on her degree while she works for Planned Parenthood.

So that makes a couple of doulas (more are in the nursing class ahead of ours), someone working for a free clinic, and someone working for Planned Parenthood. I suppose I can breathe a sigh of relief to be somewhat surrounded by women's health advocates. I was extremely afraid that I would be thrust into an overwhelming pro-life group.

Which brings me to the question, what organizations should I join? There's a Feminist Health Center in Atlanta which looks like a pretty interesting place to volunteer. Perhaps practice my new skills? But there's another organization, Health Stat, which focuses on important issues in the local area. One focus of this group is discrepancies in access to health care which I'm sure some women's health issues fall. I also want to look into a feminist organization on campus. College political group? And our student nurses' association -- perhaps run for office. I really just want to throw myself head first into all of this stuff.

Anyways -- I must run the pups outside and get started on dinner. Mac 'n' cheese for Beloved. I'll write more later.

Apartment pics

2007-08-16T16:56:00.000-04:00

I've taken a few pictures of the new apartment. It's still a work in progress, but it looks awesome even when it's messy! You can click the thumbs to see the larger picture.

When you first walk in, you are in the living room:

From the living room, you can walk out on to our balcony/deck. Can you spot the weiner dog? (It's Emmie...)

Next to the living room is my favorite place in the house - the kitchen. I like to work from the island. The photo on the island was a birthday present from the twin girls I used to nanny.

Just off the kitchen is the laundry room complete with our new washer and dryer courtesy of Beloved's parents. Next to which is my huge walk-in pantry.

Across from the kitchen is our office. It's supposed to be a dining room but we'd never use it as that. It's probably the most messy place in the apartment.

To the left of the living room is our hallway which leads to the bathroom and bedroom.

We have a huge oversized garden tub. I love it.

The bedroom is still kind of plain, but it will get better soon.

I'm off to NY to visit with my family until Tuesday.

Thoughts on the book

2007-08-12T12:01:00.000-04:00

I just finished reading Pushed: The Painful Truth about Childbirth and Modern Maternity Care by Jennifer Block. It really amazes me how much pregnant women are subjected to in the medical mode of birth. What's more is that I'm shocked at how much evidence exists against the current model of care for pregnant women, yet the hospitals and obstetricians continue to dominate the playing field. The ACOG continues to refute the safety of any birth other than the ones which occur in a hospital despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary.

The thing I find most surprising is that the issue of pregnant woman's rights remain under-addressed from feminist circles. As feminists, we discuss the paramount importance of choice for women -- mainly pertaining to abortion. My body, my choice. But it seems that mantra only applies to women who don't want to continue a pregnancy. Those words should apply at all times. At all times, it is a woman's body and ultimately her choice. Pregnant or not.

So why haven't feminists taken up the issues Block presents in her book? Why are we complacent that 1 out of every 3 women will be subject to a major abdominal surgery? Block raises an interesting point about our European sisters who have a much lower C-section rate...are their uteruses simply better equipped than ours? Is it really true that 1/3rd of all women are incapable of vaginal (normal) births? Why are we satisfied at turning women away for care because they want a VBAC (vaginal birth after c-section)? Block also raises the point that by prohibiting VBACs (hospitals, malpractice insurers, and OB/GYNs) we're essentially forcing women to consent to a repeat c-section. How's that for reproductive choice? I am dismayed at the lack of outrage on behalf of feminists regarding a system so stacked against women.

The main thing I'd like to know is why...why the need for such control over women's bodies? Clearly if it's in the best interest for relatively low-risk women to deliver with midwives, and the OBGYNs complain they are over-worked, why put up such a fight? It makes me nauseous how this traditionally female authoritative knowledge has been taken away from midwives and placed with OBGYNs. The widely-accepted authoritative knowledge rests primarily with the medical community and midwives are the deviation.

In reading this book, I have reaffirmed my decision to enter this field -- to help women. I feel women's health issues are my calling. I specifically chose midwifery, rather than becoming an OB/GYN. I want to make a difference here and I believe I can. I will be one of the strong women who will help to bring about change. I just don't want to get sucked in a shitty system that routinely violates women's reproductive rights.

We're home

2007-08-06T11:48:00.000-04:00

It's been a little more than a week since my last post and a lot has changed. The movers came on Monday around 10am. We were pretty much packed up and ready to go. The weather, however, had other plans. There was a huge line of thunderstorms that prevented our movers from loading the truck until around 2ish. Once they left, we had the rest of the day to clean and wrap up final details. We left our apartment on Tuesday morning, had breakfast with my family as a final send-off and embarked on a 10+ hour drive. The trip can be summarized in photos.

Emmie asleep in the car in VA.

Emmie and Graisen asleep in the car in NC.

Emmie asleep in the car in SC.

Emmie asleep in the car in GA.

They pretty much slept the whole entire way here. They awoke only to get out and stretch their little legs, potty, and drink some water. What a life.

I will write more later.

Progress

2007-07-29T10:44:00.000-04:00

Finally, real, tangible progress has been made in the packing venture. By how much I'm complaining about it, you'd think we live in a mansion. I think the packing would be easier if we did live in one. The reason it's so annoying is because our apartment is so small. In order to accommodate all of the boxes I'm packing, I've had to resort to playing a not-so-fun game of Tetris with heavy boxes. I think I've finally worked out a system that works for me. The entire living room (which also serves as dining room, office, media room, dachshund play area, and library) has been completely and totally packed. Done.

Now I need to move on to (the rest) of the kitchen. It shouldn't be too hard. I'm making Beloved pack the bedroom because I hate folding clothes. It's usually her domain anyways -- I usually clean living room/kitchen while she cleans bedroom/bathroom.

I cannot blame my lack of progress up until now completely on our tiny apartment. We have also had numerous invitations from friends and family to go out. Thursday was dinner with Beloved's old co-workers, then girls' (very late) night out. Friday was Beloved's going away party (also another very late night.) Yesterday was the first day I declined all invitations, hunkered down and just worked on packing --- but I was invited to the parents' house (they told me they were lounging by the pool.) Today we begin the social life again. Having coffee with a former doula client of mine and her beautiful son at 12. Then this evening, we're going to have dinner with another friend.

Tomorrow is the day. The movers will be here around 9am to start toting our things away. Then we settle in for a long day of cleaning. I think we're rounding out the day with dinner at my parents' house. We'll see how that all plays out.

And for the record, my dogs are driving me nuts. They love to be near you, at all times. Last night I was sorting papers and Graisen just jumped right on top of the work I was doing. They also like to go behind me and mess up things I've just cleaned or put away (read: freshly folded laundry is their favorite thing to mess up.) Currently, they're chasing one another -- barking, growling, and snarling. God, I hope my new neighbors like the sound of two crazy wiener dogs early in the morning.

Stupid bureaucracy

2007-07-27T18:09:00.000-04:00

The packing is coming along, slowly but surely. I'm getting tired of looking at everything being everywhere.

We got some really aggravating news today. We've been planning this move since January when I found out I had been accepted to Emory's program. Beloved had notified her job soon thereafter so the necessary steps could be taken to have her transfer complete by this month. She has been maintaining close contact with the people in her HR department to make sure everything has been taken care of. Her HR rep had assured Beloved and her supervisor that the transfer was finalized and there were no problems whatsoever. So today Beloved signed all the official stuff for salary, etc. However, when Beloved called the new HR department to get specifics of where/when she needed to be on her first day, they stated they hadn't received her paperwork. They went on to say that the earliest day Beloved could start would be three weeks later than the date we had been planning on. Her HR department offered her one of three options:

1.) Take the time off without pay
2.) Exhaust her sick/vacation time
3.) Stay and work 2+ weeks here

This is a big problem. First of all, HR rep here blatantly lied to Beloved on more than one occasion about the status of her transfer. Additionally, Beloved's supervisor also had been keeping tabs on the transfer and was lied to as well when he inquired about it. Secondly, HR rep here did not send Beloved's paperwork. She just didn't send it. Why? Because it's too difficult to actually do your job competently? And now we're faced with either having absolutely no money (I don't receive any of my school money until the end of August) or use every last bit of Beloved's leave. In either case, I don't think these are fair options. Moreover, I'm angry that Beloved and I will be punished for this idiot's carelessness.

At this point, I know we're definitely leaving on Tuesday. I know she will not be staying to work here. Whether or not we'll get any money remains to be seen. What would you do?

Heaven...

2007-07-25T11:39:00.000-04:00

...Is a hot cup of coffee, enjoyed in bed with my two dogs snuggled up around me. It can't get much better than this.

Pincushion

2007-07-24T10:28:00.000-04:00

We have exactly 7 days left until we leave for Atlanta. Yesterday I had my thorough school physical. As if a pelvic exam wasn't bad enough, I got 3 shots, blood drawn, finger pricked, and a TB test (injected under the skin.) Each arm has at least three new holes! Good thing I'm not afraid of needles.

I still haven't made any *real* progress on the apartment or packing. Beloved decided to stay home from work today to help get us packed. I think we're calling in the reinforcements later on as well. With everyone's help, we make actually get somewhere.

In other news, I took Emmie to the vet yesterday for her last distemper-parvo shot. She's almost 4 months old now and I'm quite meticulous when it comes to her health care. So imagine my surprise when I brought her in yesterday for her distemper shot *only* and the vet tech brings her back to me and says, "We gave her the distemper shot. Oh, and we also gave her the rabies shot, since it was due." WTF?! First of all, dachshunds are prone to getting immunization reactions. It is more common when you give the dog more than one vaccination at a time. For this reason, we have intentionally split up all of our dogs' vaccinations. I specifically indicated that she was to be getting her distemper shot only -- that was the only vaccine that the receptionist wrote to administer. Secondly, I was not asked if it was alright for them to administer the rabies vaccination. Although she was due for the vaccination (on Wednesday, officially), I was planning a separate trip for her to get the shot, so as to minimize the chance of a reaction. Lastly, what if I only had enough money to pay for the distemper shot? Needless to say, I'm incredibly angry about their blatant disregard for my dog. Any ideas about what I should do? We're leaving in one week and that was the last vet visit with them.

So after all of the vet drama and my physical, we decided to take it easy for the rest of the day. Beloved took me to see the new movie, "I now pronounce you Chuck & Larry." In true Adam Sandler form, it was hilarious. I feared that the movie might be stereotypical and/or offensive but I was happy to see they took a very pro-gay stance. And while I don't agree with the premise of the movie, two straight men trying to become domestic partners in order to "cheat" the system, I do think it brought awareness about the daily struggles gay people are subjected to simply because of who they love. All in all, I'd recommend the movie.

I must run because the two wiener dogs want to go outside. And perhaps I should get to work on packing. ((sigh)) I hate moving.

Mixed Emotions

2007-07-22T16:53:00.000-04:00

It has been a tumultuous six months. I have been completely caught up in the process, not quite realizing the end-result of all my hard work. I'm actually leaving my closest friends, my hometown, and (most significantly) my family in about a week. This revelation hit me hard last night as I put the twins to bed for the last time. I kissed each of them goodnight and turned off the light. It's humbling to think I will be little more than a faint memory to these girls who I've nurtured and loved for the past two years. But I am comforted by the wonderful job I have done. They are beautiful, smart and strong. However small my contribution, I did help them in that way.

But now I'm struck by how emotional I've become. If it was this hard for me to leave the twins for the last time, how will I do when I say goodbye to my family? I hope it's easier because I am planning on seeing them just two weeks after we move. But this birthday will mark the first one spent away from my family. Growing up is hard to do.

On the other side of the spectrum, I anxiously await moving into our new apartment. I want to learn everything about the new area. So far I've:

1.) Found the closest farmer's market. Mapquested said market to see how close it is to our new apartment.
2.) Researched a new vet. Also mapquested it. It's not far at all.
3.) Looked up the DMV - sort of.
4.) Scheduled to have our cable/internet/telephone installed
5.) Created a bike route from new apartment to school.
6.) Looked up bike shops in the local area.
7.) Visited the public transit site numerous times to find out if I can bring the dogs on the trains/buses (no luck...I'm going to have to call.)
8.) Picked out my wish list at IKEA.
9.) Found at least 3-5 dog parks. As well as local dachshund groups and dog activities.

My beloved and I have decided that we are going to spend the first few weeks riding the public transit as much as possible in order to learn our way around. There's so much tourist-y stuff we'd like to do before school starts anyway. Beloved has to ride the subway to get to work. I have the added benefit of already knowing the route. (I used the public transit when I flew into Atlanta for one day for my interview at Emory -- and that makes me an expert. HA!)

I still have a lot to get done. I've been putting off getting everything packed. Hopefully, the procrastination won't continue as I have all of next week free. Beloved is working right up until we leave, so I will be doing the majority of the packing. I can't imagine trying to move with children. I have two dogs and that's enough for me.

Welcome

2007-07-22T11:56:00.000-04:00

After stalking quite a bit I've finally decided to start my own blog. I'm about to embark on one of the biggest journeys of my life. In about a week or so, I will be packing my bags and we will be trekking down to Atlanta to begin my nursing program at Emory. I will be far from family and friends, but I am looking forward to doing what I absolutely love.

So here's a little bit about me. I'm 22 (almost 23...) and in a relationship with a wonderful woman. We've been together for about 2 and a half years now. She will be working in Atlanta when we make the big move. I love children. Working with pregnant moms and babies is the only way I can curb my serious desire to have children. For the past two years, I've been a nanny for twin girls -- since they were about 4 months old. The maternal pull is intense, however I know it's best to wait until I'm settled with an awesome job, house, and income before starting a family. I'm also a wonderful mom to my two dachshunds -- Graisen & Emmie.

I'm also a doula in training from DONA. I've attended one birth officially. I hope to get the remainder of my certifying births in while in school. I love helping moms-to-be have rewarding and fulfilling births. Moreover, I love to be included as I am a complete and total birth junkie.

I already have a BA in Women's Studies and am passionate about women's health issues. I believe working in women's health is truly my calling. If you like what you read, please don't hesitate to leave me a comment. I've been really enjoying reading blogs about midwives, doulas, and lesbian parenting.